It used to be fun…

At one time.  There used to be costumes, music and laughter.  There used to be chases through the house and in the back yard.  There was friendly good natured sparring and joking.  There used to be movie nights and trust.  Popcorn and snacks.  There was dancing,  glitter and light.  There was life and peace, joy and fun.  There was safety and baseball night.  There was sleeping next to me just because.  There was friends and fun.

 

All that’s a distant memory now. All that’s been replaced with anger, darkness, and words like psychopath.  I miss those days……. I miss innocence and I miss being safe.

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Life changes and so does the weather.

Life changes…sometimes it throws you curve balls, other times it just quietly winds around the corner. My life now, is settling down and I’m grateful for this. I’m also exhausted….it’s a deep down kind of tired but it’ll pass eventually. I’m starting to get back to my life quietly, away from all the upheaval.  It’s the only way I can heal, and just moving my furniture around made a huge difference. The weather is also cooler for now at least…and I am hoping it stays that way.  We were roasting lately in the 90’s and I’ve had enough of that heat, thank you very much. October has been brutal with too many hot days.

 

Regardless, I’m loving that life is winding down and I can relax more and take it easy. This year I’m not looking forward to Halloween, I usually love handing candy out to the kids and teens and seeing the various costumes. This year, I couldn’t care less, I’m too tired. Thanksgiving is approaching fast as well and I have no idea what we are doing this year, besides the bird. Last year we ended up having my friend’s sister and niece over so I had the house decorated and clean. The kitchen table was pulled out and it went well.  Hopefully we know sooner rather than later so we can make arrangements.

 

Usually decorating is a full time job itself…..lots of stuff to hang and trying to hang it without falling. I have some decorations already up outside of the house for now, as I decided to start early due to being absolutely exhausted this year.

Been Awhile.

I have been busy the last several months since my last post. I have wanted to write then usually get so caught up in something else I forget about the blog for awhile. As always, I appreciate the readers who hang in there with me during the long silences.  I had the past come back in an unwelcome way but now it’s over and I’m much safer. I moved my room around yesterday….switching the couch with the bed and now it looks more cozy and kinda like a small apartment.

 

I’m also taking new courses! Human geography, astronomy (demanding class) , history, theology, english, political science, literature, and Chinese history.  I’ve been busy lately trying to stay caught up and on track, especially with astronomy which already has us reading three chapters in the first week! I digress though.  I also have a tablet, finally! It’s the BLU (Bold Like Us) Studio II tablet. Okay it’s more of what they call a phablet…a seven inch smartphone.  Therefore, it’s absolutely perfect for taking my courses. It also has lots of nice themes and I can play my favorite games on it to relax.

 

Life has had it’s ups and downs with healing as well. I don’t believe I blogged about this before when it occurred but a while ago I was battling hacked email accounts (Gmail isn’t secure…they gave a code to get into my account to the hacker just a few months ago..friendly heads up.)  Then I found a friend’s pics on my FB album…without me ever being notified they were added. My fB was hacked…a friend’s fb was hacked to the point that she couldn’t reset it….and before she was hacked she found a rant on there about me, claiming I’m psychotic and then ranting about the shared chat site we met on.

 

That created quite the firestorm which already was an inferno because I had to deal with a smear campaign being lodged against me, one for six years (which I knew nothing about…don’t ask how that is possible, I’m not really sure) and one more recent than that in which tons of information came out and I was lodged as the hater and the aggressor. It was rough for awhile because some days I couldn’t reset my password fast enough to regain control over my accounts.

 

I have since deleted those affected and opened a new one which I keep to myself. It really is amazing what can occur but I made out of that alive, but frazzled and with information I’m still pondering to this day.

 

Regardless, I’m just glad that is over with for now. It made me question a lot of people and to this day, I question the information that was revealed in terms of accuracy. In fact, I question a lot these days..more than I believe anything at face value. But I digress. Regardless, those were some of the bumps in the road I had to face…and now it seems to be smooth sailing finally. School is going alright…just demanding like I’ve said. I’m glad that most of the courses I take are self paced, therefore easier to contend with and not due on some deadline that’s etched in concrete. Astronomy is the most demanding however…..it’s keeping me focused and on my toes.

 

I will try to add more posts and perhaps add some more recipies as well. I haven’t been baking or cooking with much lately except prepackaged stuff, or burgers on the grill or chicken, mostly due to being so exhausted. I’m dealing also with adrenal fatigue….so it’s really no wonder I’m so tired all the time. Stress, rather chronic stress, shoots too much cortisol and adrenaline into your body and if you cannot find a way to burn it off, it does serious damage to your body, one of which is to deplete your adrenals. Take care of yourselves and enjoy the changing seasons. 🙂

Hello there.

I have been healing these least few months after everything I have gone through. So hence the lack of blog posts. I’m also taking more courses this summer so they also keep me busy. Regardless,  I hope to be posting more soon. I always appreciate the readers who hang in there and stick around throughout my absences.

 

This summer I am trying to get through intro to physics and some philosophy classes as well. Pretty soon macroeconomics will also be starting. But for now, I’m taking it slow as it is not an easy time at the moment but I know it will get easier. It really is amazing what we humans can survive and still keep on putting one foot in front of the other.

 

Anyway I wanted to post and I’ll try to write more soon.

Safe, finally!!

I had to get out of that room….I was determined to not see another sunset in it. Well, so I did..in one day.  I am finally settled, but most of all, I’m much happier and more relaxed as well. I have privacy which means the world to me. I also have my freedom back which is very important to me as well. I can study out here, do my laundry, and watch my shows without any criticism. For the first time in four years, I heard silence in my room. I am very grateful to be out here and not deal with all the stress I’ve endured. On another good note, I believe the fence is finally up and in!! It’s a new privacy wooden fence with steel posts to reinforce the wooden posts, I believe. Regardless, I’m glad that it’s fixed and up…and the last one was hauled away. The weed whacker should be here by next week so that’ll come in handy to maintain the yards rather than let it grow so thick & out of control.

 

I am so grateful to be free of all that nonsense and drama. Definitely time for a fresh start when I can relax and be happy. Anyway, I had  to write an update from all the drama I’ve already posted on here. Plus now I can take my time and study at my own pace thankfully. I am finally able to relax and have some peace….and in the end, that’s what matters. 🙂

Hello again.

I took time off this blog to get my life back together and organized once again. Sometimes, that means taking the focus off one’s blog and putting it onto other aspects that need more direct attention. That explains in a nut shell what I’ve done, and I’m also focusing back on the courses I’m taking this semester as well. Some I’ve dropped, others I’ve recently taken up again. I’m currently taking human communication as it seemed to be an interesting course. I’m still dealing with the same issues here at home which is frustrating it and of itself because I figured they’d be solved by now. Hopefully in time they will be. As always, I’m grateful for the readers whom stick around even during my silences, where I don’t post anything for months at a time. Honestly, life gets in the way 99% of the time, the other one percent, I forget I have a blog.

 

In recent news on the home front, our fence fell in the backyard. Fortunately, it’s not the entire wooden fence, but a good chunk of it. This occurred during a strong storm here when we had some gusty winds come through and it just couldn’t withstand it anymore. The wood used is old and crumbly which explains why it collapsed in the first place.

 

As you can see it’s still on the ground, although the smaller section I have learning against a wall in our backyard, for now. The good news is that fortunately it’s our neighbor’s fence and he’s offered to fix it. Thanks goodness because for one, it’s extremely heavy to pick up and for another, the expense will be hefty. None of the wood is reusable, and it’ll have to be replaced, re-cut and re built from scratch. Fortunately, we have decent neighbors and I don’t mind the fence being down between the yards for the most part. I just wish he’d fix it already, for personal reasons.  On the plus side now that it’s closer to Spring, there’s a tan jackrabbit that hops around here. I love rabbits and seeing this one wild and free is really something. We are so close to the mountains out here that wild life such as  rabbits and coyotes, and mountain lions flourish. Even the darned barn owl. I’d like it a lot more if the owl itself wasn’t so big in diameter and wasn’t so loud. Curious what they sound like when they screech or twitter? Do a simple Google search, click on the owl sites and give it a listen. Then be grateful you don’t have one near you. 🙂 😉  In all seriousness, I just don’t like owls…they creep me out.

 

I also have recently acquired my roommate’s cold…which sucks. Yesterday my throat felt like it was on fire, my ears were clogged and my nose was stuffy. Today I have some cold medicine, some ground ginger which helps, and chicken soup (in a large can, which I’ll probably fix later on) along with some honey and tea. These all aid in easing the symptoms along with the cough. I’m just mainly very tired but I am trying to finish this chapter regardless. I also planted our little white Christmas tree in our backyard, since that’s the reason I wanted it in the first place. It’s made to be planted outside in the ground or in a pot, which I really like, rather than recycle it or just tossing it into the trash can. Okay, I should end here as I’m getting tired and hungry. I hope to post again soon. 🙂 Until next time, Lisa. 🙂 ♥

Been awhile…and Christmas is coming up.

It’s been awhile since I’ve written, again. I’ve been busy trying to get my life straightened back out, as it’s become a mess again. I really appreciate the readers whom are loyal and hang on with me from post to post and the long, dry stretches in between. There will usually be times with me where I do not post anything for a while. Regardless, I decided to post tonight because I need somewhere to vent and put my thoughts down into words. The past came roaring back, not once, but twice and is thankfully cleared up now except for some nagging details. Although we had some weird things take place last night about three am. My tv died when I tried to banish this pesky spirit and a shadow fell over my room. Go figure, it’s occurred before. This kind of thing has been going on in this room for three years now and I’m basically used to it.

 

The good news is that Christmas is coming up….:)  We have the house decorated and all ready to go for the Holidays. Although this year doesn’t feel like Christmas at all to me…too much darkness has invaded my room many times. The light usually ends up winning, however.  The darkness I speak of isn’t man-made, but spiritual in nature. It sneaks in, or sometimes shoves it’s way in and then spreads over every area of my life. It really does suck because it brings in so much lower energy, and trying to fight through that is majorly energy-consuming. This is why I took so much time away from my spirituality path because I needed to heal and I needed to gain my energy back. After awhile, the darkness and negativity take a huge toll on you, emotionally, physically and especially spiritually. It also destroyed my faith and belief in angels as I was told I was practicing “satanism” (which I know now, of course, that I’m not) by someone who basically wanted to destroy me for their own gain. The good thing is that I survived and they ended up being lessons in the end. Which is all that really counts? So here I am once again picking up the pieces of my life, deciding what I want to keep or just leave behind. That’s the hard part.

 

if you’ve had your life completely fall apart due to a haunting or any type of bad run with spirits, then you know what I’m speaking of. I no longer blame the haunting for how my life’s turned out, there isn’t a reason for that as it’s long gone and over. Mostly I’m trying to find my way back to where I was again with no compass this time. All in due time, I guess, though…..

The Protests.

I usually don’t tackle the major headlines happening in the world, but I do have more than a few things to say about them, so here goes: First of all, I really do not care who you voted for, it’s none of my concern. Second, why bother taking to the streets to protest? We can’t even impeach the man yet! We still have a few more months of Obama in the White House…and here everyone is going nuts over someone the country voted in. We, the people, spoke. This is a country based on freedom, not oppression…and certainly not all the hatred and division we’ve seen lately. On the whole, people voted the way they did because they want someone different. So, in all fairness, why not just give the man a chance? Students are leaving behind good classes, which these days are expensive, and they are walking out of college courses to protest. Does that help your future at all or work towards your degree? Not really. They are leaving their families behind to take to the streets…and the Holidays are upcoming.

 

Everyone was in such an uproar over the Black Lives Matter protests, and Ferguson (Remember those? I do.)  And why was that? Because they were protesting and blocking off intersections. In time those became violent as well, and if given enough time, and enough fuel, these will, as well. There are always going to be differences in this country, but that’s what freedom and democracy are built on. Nothing more and certainly nothing less. Do we have the right to free speech about the election? Of course, but I do believe we are taking advantage of that right. We also have the right to peacefully assemble, until we don’t. No matter who would have become elected, there would have been protests….the only difference is the gender and face that will represent the majority of Americans. Everyone was eventually unhappy with Obama….and now that we have a change in the next few months, and a Republican administration, we’re upset. I believe that this country ought to give him a chance and let us see what he can do. He’s an excellent negotiator which will come in handy when we have diplomatic ties that are extremely sensitive.

 

Personally, this country is no longer the country I was born into so many years ago. It’s become a country of oppression, hatred, anger and bigotry. Perhaps the issue isn’t being “overly sensitive/offended” …… perhaps it is the way we conduct ourselves in our everyday lives? We think it’s just fine and acceptable to hurt others..what happened to values and morals in this country? What happened to love your neighbor? (Yes, I’m guilty of breaking that commandment all the time!)  We don’t need to be ruled by a tyrannical leader…we have done this to ourselves, folks. It is easy to blame Obama….that way, we don’t have to take accountability. But did he tell you to go shoot the police officers? Did he order you? Nope. Did he tell you to break down race relations so far, that we’re basically back to the times BEFORE we had the Civil Rights act???? NO! Nor did he order that, either!  We accepted same-s*x couples and even passed marriage rights for them….now they are scared of the Establishment because we’ve decided to mistreat them and put the blame elsewhere. Muslims are targeted daily, simply because of a religion difference. One bad Extremist Muslim equals all are terrorists? Sorry, but that doesn’t equate.

 

Then there’s the issue of immigration.Well, okay let us go back centuries here. This was NEVER our country, to begin with! WE came here…and this was already home to the Native Americans. The same natives we ran off their open lands and onto reservations..remember? I do. Then we brought in others, from around the world, and we turned into a melting pot of religions, differences, ethnicities, etc. We established trade with these folks, and trade routes. It’s what made America shine, and it worked! Now, we are against immigration at a time when Syria is basically a country of ruins? We turn them away when they need somewhere to go?  That doesn’t sound right…..how dare we be against immigration when WE ourselves are immigrants!! Everyone supporting ousting the recent wave of immigrants forgets that fact. By the time we discovered America, it was already populated, and we ran them off after they accepted us and helped us to settle the colonies. That makes us hypocrites of the worst sort. After all, we ran them off…and took over, thinking nothing of it. (Trail of Tears spark a bell?) So then, who are we to close our borders to immigrants fleeing war, famine, and terrorists in Syria? Maybe a terrorist is hidden amongst them, they cry. Okay, do background checks and deport those who come up with ties to terrorism, but closing our borders to human beings who need help is the lowest sort of cowardice I’ve seen yet.

 

This goes along with building a wall. Really, America?  Have we learned nothing in the last millennia?  We invade Mexico daily…we traverse their borders peacefully to eat their food, partake in their customs, and their culture…and we’ve had peace with them coming and going here daily. Now we want to build a wall against them?  Find the illegal ones and deal with them, rather than punish a whole culture. The way we are doing things now isn’t going to work for long and eventually, it’s going to collapse. I’d hate to see this mess end up on the next generations shoulders to solve. We are not creating a country I’d be proud to pass on, instead we are creating a country that is similar to Hitler’s Germany. We were built on freedom and opportunity for all, and unfortunately America, you’ve gotten so far from this ideal, it’s frightening. Is this the country we want our children inheriting? I’d hope not. We’ve gone way off track as a country…and we are blind to it. Someone had to put this in the public eye and be blunt and unapologetic about it, because sooner or later, this is all going to die down, including the propaganda and rhetoric. We are so divided that no ruler or President has to make us this way, we do it to ourselves America! Sheesh. Remember the phrase “United we stand, divided we fall?” Well…you have a glimpse of what occurs when we are divided, and the truth is we do indeed fall. Open your eyes folks….before this gets any worse.

 

 

The journey ahead…and back.

The journey ahead…and back to myself and God was a bumpy one indeed. It still is rather rocky, but HE didn’t promise a life of ease. After a particularly confusing night and the following day, I decided to accept Him back into my heart and see where that journey leads. I think one day this mess and nonsense I’m still sorting out will be finished and will then make sense, but until then I’m trying to keep my patience. It seems I cannot write or type anything on the computer without angelic eyes being nosy. I won’t bash God …or the Son, or the Holy Spirit. But I am here to write out my thoughts and about my path back to His arms…and if you wish to not read any further, then you have every right to click off. 🙂

 

Now..back to my main point. I went to His arms after a long, confusing night/day. He did indeed give me a second chance, although of course, I think I’m not worthy of it. I’ve dealt with the darker aspect of Spirituality and veered far off my chosen path. I have since found my way back and other than some things that are still being ironed out, it seems that things are quiet and peaceful once again. When it becomes too dark, I tend to stop writing and just ride it out, wherever it tends to lead. I’ve worked so hard to have peace back into my life and I’m determined to keep it there. Peace is the greatest weapon one can have in their lives and it comes from inner peace first, then sprouts out from there. I’m also determined to have my privacy…..angels tend to read every single thing I write, no matter if it’s on my phone or this computer. Seriously becoming sick of it so that is another aspect I have to work on yet.

 

I had started some bible studying classes online and now, of course, I cannot locate them. However, I believe I have found something better. That’s always the way. Anyway,  I know I haven’t written on a regular basis for quite some time now but when I have to battle the enemy and his dark forces, I’d rather not put that karma out there on any forum such as this. It, unfortunately, tends to spread that way, I’ve noticed. But I am safely back in His arms again, where I belong! 🙂 ❤ 🙂   (Just gotta work on these angels…hmmm…)  I’m already 34 years old…and I just want to make peace in my life the mainstay. I’ve been battling drama, anger, rage, anxiety, stress, depression, suicidal thoughts, etc for three years now. It has just now in some ways, become better, stayed the same in others. Most of the trouble stemmed from my questioning of God’s Will…I persistently kept asking Him why he would remove people from my life, with a little explanation it seemed. Then I found out why….and that really hurt my faith in Him for quite awhile. However, He stayed close to me and waited so patiently for me to finally find my way back. 🙂 ❤    I love Him and the Son, and His Holy Spirit so in the end that’s all that really matters.

 

Why am I sharing this? Because several years ago, I shared with you the beginning, middle and end of my journey into darkness and evil, and so am now sharing my transition from the dark to the light. As I write this, there are angelic eyes reading this behind me….shaking my head. So I end here… Giod is good folks!!! 🙂 ❤

Finally back.

I’ve been mobile lately, and unfortunately Google Play Store doesn’t seem to have a WordPress app… However, Bloggers included. My laptop crashed about a week or so ago by now, just got a message about memory suddenly being overcompensated then it just died.. Wouldn’t boot back, up for anything. We tried everything but unfortunately, my laptops toast. I think half the problem is that it was running Vista… An outdated version of Windows by now, but came pre-installed with the laptop. (Go figure. That’s how old that laptop is!)   I’ve had it for years and while I definitely prefer a laptop over a desktop,.the one I have now isn’t half bad. In fact, it works really well, once I got used to it and customized it to my likings. I’m just happy to have anything at this point, truth be told. I’m slowly getting used to Windows Ten.. (Or is it seven? Hmm…  The monitor says seven, previous owner says ten.. Hmm)  Well, whichever version it is, it takes some getting used to, and to figure out after only knowing Vista for so many years.

 

Anyway,  I am finally back on a computer. 🙂  This is where I’ve been, plus I have some heavy coursework this go around, with AP Psychology 1,2 and eventually 3, AP writing, and a course from Hillsdale College Online about the Supreme Court. Plus others I’ve been neglecting. Also,  before the laptop died, I was writing and uploading study guides (legally) and selling them (legally) online, so I’ve been busy. Just lately, finally, found myself some down time, to unwind, deal with things that needed to be hashed out, and relax. I needed that.. It’s been a stressful time here, as of late. But now I think the tide’s finally turning on this… I hope so, at least. Too much stress… And that is a silent killer I hear. Well, in more cheery news, the weather today is supposed to be hot, which at this moment is fine with me, considering I’m sitting here in a hoodie. The expected high today is a toasty ninety degrees….And its Autumn. I can’t wait for the cooler days to begin, but I do believe we have a while to go before those start.

 

I also have gotten my long hair cut about a month now ago now as well. I couldn’t stand constantly putting it in a bun anymore every single day. The weight of it and constantly going through so much shampoo was really getting to me. Plus, it had tons of dead ends…. So I have it in a bob cut, which brings out the natural curl in it, unfortunately. Anyway, I should get this posted and then begin some coursework. I’ll try to write on a more regular basis. Thanks for hanging in there with me during my silences, readers. 🙂 I really appreciate it. 🙂