New Years Day.

So far is being spent listening to football in the background and recovering from moving furniture and heavy boxes around for hours yesterday. I’m happy with the result and I know I’ll be fine tuning things when I’m not so sore. I’m not one to set resolutions…because they never stick. However, I am grateful to see 2017 gone as it was a harsh year. I’ve learned a lot and am still healing and recovering from the mayhem and chaos.

 

I’m also trying to  do more coursework rather than let it slide, especially with self paced courses.  Those are great however…..you can forget about them and there’s no set deadlines to finish quizzes, assignments, readings etc so it’s easy to forget about them completely and come back a month or two later. Opps! I moved things around on the desk to accommodate notebooks etc and then let the courses slide. Not a good idea!! It helps with achieving a balance between things and situations in my life.

 

Last year was mostly spent healing, recovering, moving, settling, disclosing, and figuring out and uncovering the truth about situations that had already occurred. Also mainly playing catch up with my courses, homework, readings and friends I hadn’t talked to in months. I actually had one friend tell me they had been trying to text me since June…I had forgotten to tell them I had changed my number. Opps!!!

 

I am hoping this year to be more on top of things and not in such a lost place….well maybe that is a resolution after all, eh? 🙂 Have a safe, warm and gentle new years day. 🙂

 

 

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Coffee, a cold, and warmth.

I’ve caught a cold it seems….though with the weather so dry here and windy from the Santa Ana winds, I’m not surprised. It’s warm during the day but chilly at night as we’re dipping into the 40’s now. I have Vicks and a cup of coffee to assist me at least. 🙂

 

Okay moving on…so thing’s have been quiet lately…well at least on the human front, thankfully. I was searching for a piece of paper the other day, with a list of all my internet sites I need to remember for my courses. Well, I didn’t find it (I seriously have no idea where it went.) However, I did find all of my old notebooks, paper and binder, and all my old notes that I took for my courses, especially anatomy. I took pretty extensive notes but still couldn’t pass the first assessment, mainly because in the middle of everything, I packed up and moved in one day and never got back to it. I had dropped the class out of frustration but when  I found the notes, that was reversed. Alison has a great “learning pathway” about it, especially the cardiovascular section. Extensive detail and just one of the best, in my opinion, at least.   So I have finally gotten back into my blog at least and my courses. I’ve also been playing Farmville: 2 Country Escape..it’s an addicting game!! But fun nevertheless. I’m just looking to move past the hibernation stage I’ve been in lately, which explains the lack of any posts.

 

I cannot believe it’s already almost Christmas…time has been flying by so fast!  In just two weeks time then starts the fun of taking down the decorations, which as usual come down a lot quicker than they went up! At least it’s peaceful around here…the neighbors are putting their lights up on their houses and the decorations out. We’ve had ours up since October because I was so tired this year, I began early. It’s looking really pretty around here at night and during the day, the hawks are flying around looking for food, the neighborhood is quiet, and some thin clouds are streaming overhead. I was out in the front yard with the dog and watched the hawks circling overhead, looking for the noon meal. They are such graceful birds and I love watching them circle and fly. 🙂

 

I absolutely love how peaceful and quiet it is here…….even if I do have to listen to a tv in the background constantly as my mom loves the news. I’m not a fan of it but ah well..it’s still rather peaceful. Until next time, Lisa. 🙂

Healing, recovery, football, and fires.

Its Sunday morning and to most that means church.  To me it means football,  although yes I love the Lord.  ☕⛪💒 I’m still healing and recovering from the abuse I went through, which is why I’m so quiet on here.

 

I’ve been exhausted these last few months,  as the stress is finally decreasing bit by bit,  I’m realizing how tired I am these days.  That’s the thing about surviving abuse that no one tends to mention.  Your body just collapses as it is detoxing from cortisol and hormones.  The first few months away I tend to just spend sleeping and resting.  That’s why I’m happy for self paced courses,  no worries of impending deadlines.  They also don’t mention the brain fog which accompanies this exhaustion.  It really sucks.  I’ve been NC with my abuser for the last month at least.

 

Recently I’ve been playing farmville 2,country escape.  It takes my mind off my problems and lets my stress fried brain breathe a bit.  It’s a great game,  although addictive.  😎 Consider yourself warned!  😁 On top of all this I am keeping an eye out for flying decorations and potential fires.  Its so dry that anything can  spark up at any time and with these Santa Ana winds coming through,  that’s exactly what happened.  The fires burning are hard to contain with so much fuel (dry brush/vegetation) and the winds whipping around that they have spread as rapidly as an acre a second.  Yes, you read that right.  Most have lost everything weeks before Christmas and still cannot return home. We need rain desperately here but none is forecast,  and I’m hoping they continue to contain them. These winds are normal this time of year but not for the duration and speed we’ve seen.  If that isn’t bad enough,  another bout of wind is expected by this next weekend.  We can’t seem to catch a break.

 

The tablet battery is at 22% so I guess I’ll end here for now.  As always   thank you for continued patience during my silences.  I appreciate the loyalty.  😎 Until next time,  Lisa.

It used to be fun…

At one time.  There used to be costumes, music and laughter.  There used to be chases through the house and in the back yard.  There was friendly good natured sparring and joking.  There used to be movie nights and trust.  Popcorn and snacks.  There was dancing,  glitter and light.  There was life and peace, joy and fun.  There was safety and baseball night.  There was sleeping next to me just because.  There was friends and fun.

 

All that’s a distant memory now. All that’s been replaced with anger, darkness, and words like psychopath.  I miss those days……. I miss innocence and I miss being safe.

Life changes and so does the weather.

Life changes…sometimes it throws you curve balls, other times it just quietly winds around the corner. My life now, is settling down and I’m grateful for this. I’m also exhausted….it’s a deep down kind of tired but it’ll pass eventually. I’m starting to get back to my life quietly, away from all the upheaval.  It’s the only way I can heal, and just moving my furniture around made a huge difference. The weather is also cooler for now at least…and I am hoping it stays that way.  We were roasting lately in the 90’s and I’ve had enough of that heat, thank you very much. October has been brutal with too many hot days.

 

Regardless, I’m loving that life is winding down and I can relax more and take it easy. This year I’m not looking forward to Halloween, I usually love handing candy out to the kids and teens and seeing the various costumes. This year, I couldn’t care less, I’m too tired. Thanksgiving is approaching fast as well and I have no idea what we are doing this year, besides the bird. Last year we ended up having my friend’s sister and niece over so I had the house decorated and clean. The kitchen table was pulled out and it went well.  Hopefully we know sooner rather than later so we can make arrangements.

 

Usually decorating is a full time job itself…..lots of stuff to hang and trying to hang it without falling. I have some decorations already up outside of the house for now, as I decided to start early due to being absolutely exhausted this year.

Been Awhile.

I have been busy the last several months since my last post. I have wanted to write then usually get so caught up in something else I forget about the blog for awhile. As always, I appreciate the readers who hang in there with me during the long silences.  I had the past come back in an unwelcome way but now it’s over and I’m much safer. I moved my room around yesterday….switching the couch with the bed and now it looks more cozy and kinda like a small apartment.

 

I’m also taking new courses! Human geography, astronomy (demanding class) , history, theology, english, political science, literature, and Chinese history.  I’ve been busy lately trying to stay caught up and on track, especially with astronomy which already has us reading three chapters in the first week! I digress though.  I also have a tablet, finally! It’s the BLU (Bold Like Us) Studio II tablet. Okay it’s more of what they call a phablet…a seven inch smartphone.  Therefore, it’s absolutely perfect for taking my courses. It also has lots of nice themes and I can play my favorite games on it to relax.

 

Life has had it’s ups and downs with healing as well. I don’t believe I blogged about this before when it occurred but a while ago I was battling hacked email accounts (Gmail isn’t secure…they gave a code to get into my account to the hacker just a few months ago..friendly heads up.)  Then I found a friend’s pics on my FB album…without me ever being notified they were added. My fB was hacked…a friend’s fb was hacked to the point that she couldn’t reset it….and before she was hacked she found a rant on there about me, claiming I’m psychotic and then ranting about the shared chat site we met on.

 

That created quite the firestorm which already was an inferno because I had to deal with a smear campaign being lodged against me, one for six years (which I knew nothing about…don’t ask how that is possible, I’m not really sure) and one more recent than that in which tons of information came out and I was lodged as the hater and the aggressor. It was rough for awhile because some days I couldn’t reset my password fast enough to regain control over my accounts.

 

I have since deleted those affected and opened a new one which I keep to myself. It really is amazing what can occur but I made out of that alive, but frazzled and with information I’m still pondering to this day.

 

Regardless, I’m just glad that is over with for now. It made me question a lot of people and to this day, I question the information that was revealed in terms of accuracy. In fact, I question a lot these days..more than I believe anything at face value. But I digress. Regardless, those were some of the bumps in the road I had to face…and now it seems to be smooth sailing finally. School is going alright…just demanding like I’ve said. I’m glad that most of the courses I take are self paced, therefore easier to contend with and not due on some deadline that’s etched in concrete. Astronomy is the most demanding however…..it’s keeping me focused and on my toes.

 

I will try to add more posts and perhaps add some more recipies as well. I haven’t been baking or cooking with much lately except prepackaged stuff, or burgers on the grill or chicken, mostly due to being so exhausted. I’m dealing also with adrenal fatigue….so it’s really no wonder I’m so tired all the time. Stress, rather chronic stress, shoots too much cortisol and adrenaline into your body and if you cannot find a way to burn it off, it does serious damage to your body, one of which is to deplete your adrenals. Take care of yourselves and enjoy the changing seasons. 🙂

Hello there.

I have been healing these least few months after everything I have gone through. So hence the lack of blog posts. I’m also taking more courses this summer so they also keep me busy. Regardless,  I hope to be posting more soon. I always appreciate the readers who hang in there and stick around throughout my absences.

 

This summer I am trying to get through intro to physics and some philosophy classes as well. Pretty soon macroeconomics will also be starting. But for now, I’m taking it slow as it is not an easy time at the moment but I know it will get easier. It really is amazing what we humans can survive and still keep on putting one foot in front of the other.

 

Anyway I wanted to post and I’ll try to write more soon.

Safe, finally!!

I had to get out of that room….I was determined to not see another sunset in it. Well, so I did..in one day.  I am finally settled, but most of all, I’m much happier and more relaxed as well. I have privacy which means the world to me. I also have my freedom back which is very important to me as well. I can study out here, do my laundry, and watch my shows without any criticism. For the first time in four years, I heard silence in my room. I am very grateful to be out here and not deal with all the stress I’ve endured. On another good note, I believe the fence is finally up and in!! It’s a new privacy wooden fence with steel posts to reinforce the wooden posts, I believe. Regardless, I’m glad that it’s fixed and up…and the last one was hauled away. The weed whacker should be here by next week so that’ll come in handy to maintain the yards rather than let it grow so thick & out of control.

 

I am so grateful to be free of all that nonsense and drama. Definitely time for a fresh start when I can relax and be happy. Anyway, I had  to write an update from all the drama I’ve already posted on here. Plus now I can take my time and study at my own pace thankfully. I am finally able to relax and have some peace….and in the end, that’s what matters. 🙂

Hello again.

I took time off this blog to get my life back together and organized once again. Sometimes, that means taking the focus off one’s blog and putting it onto other aspects that need more direct attention. That explains in a nut shell what I’ve done, and I’m also focusing back on the courses I’m taking this semester as well. Some I’ve dropped, others I’ve recently taken up again. I’m currently taking human communication as it seemed to be an interesting course. I’m still dealing with the same issues here at home which is frustrating it and of itself because I figured they’d be solved by now. Hopefully in time they will be. As always, I’m grateful for the readers whom stick around even during my silences, where I don’t post anything for months at a time. Honestly, life gets in the way 99% of the time, the other one percent, I forget I have a blog.

 

In recent news on the home front, our fence fell in the backyard. Fortunately, it’s not the entire wooden fence, but a good chunk of it. This occurred during a strong storm here when we had some gusty winds come through and it just couldn’t withstand it anymore. The wood used is old and crumbly which explains why it collapsed in the first place.

 

As you can see it’s still on the ground, although the smaller section I have learning against a wall in our backyard, for now. The good news is that fortunately it’s our neighbor’s fence and he’s offered to fix it. Thanks goodness because for one, it’s extremely heavy to pick up and for another, the expense will be hefty. None of the wood is reusable, and it’ll have to be replaced, re-cut and re built from scratch. Fortunately, we have decent neighbors and I don’t mind the fence being down between the yards for the most part. I just wish he’d fix it already, for personal reasons.  On the plus side now that it’s closer to Spring, there’s a tan jackrabbit that hops around here. I love rabbits and seeing this one wild and free is really something. We are so close to the mountains out here that wild life such as  rabbits and coyotes, and mountain lions flourish. Even the darned barn owl. I’d like it a lot more if the owl itself wasn’t so big in diameter and wasn’t so loud. Curious what they sound like when they screech or twitter? Do a simple Google search, click on the owl sites and give it a listen. Then be grateful you don’t have one near you. 🙂 😉  In all seriousness, I just don’t like owls…they creep me out.

 

I also have recently acquired my roommate’s cold…which sucks. Yesterday my throat felt like it was on fire, my ears were clogged and my nose was stuffy. Today I have some cold medicine, some ground ginger which helps, and chicken soup (in a large can, which I’ll probably fix later on) along with some honey and tea. These all aid in easing the symptoms along with the cough. I’m just mainly very tired but I am trying to finish this chapter regardless. I also planted our little white Christmas tree in our backyard, since that’s the reason I wanted it in the first place. It’s made to be planted outside in the ground or in a pot, which I really like, rather than recycle it or just tossing it into the trash can. Okay, I should end here as I’m getting tired and hungry. I hope to post again soon. 🙂 Until next time, Lisa. 🙂 ♥

Been awhile…and Christmas is coming up.

It’s been awhile since I’ve written, again. I’ve been busy trying to get my life straightened back out, as it’s become a mess again. I really appreciate the readers whom are loyal and hang on with me from post to post and the long, dry stretches in between. There will usually be times with me where I do not post anything for a while. Regardless, I decided to post tonight because I need somewhere to vent and put my thoughts down into words. The past came roaring back, not once, but twice and is thankfully cleared up now except for some nagging details. Although we had some weird things take place last night about three am. My tv died when I tried to banish this pesky spirit and a shadow fell over my room. Go figure, it’s occurred before. This kind of thing has been going on in this room for three years now and I’m basically used to it.

 

The good news is that Christmas is coming up….:)  We have the house decorated and all ready to go for the Holidays. Although this year doesn’t feel like Christmas at all to me…too much darkness has invaded my room many times. The light usually ends up winning, however.  The darkness I speak of isn’t man-made, but spiritual in nature. It sneaks in, or sometimes shoves it’s way in and then spreads over every area of my life. It really does suck because it brings in so much lower energy, and trying to fight through that is majorly energy-consuming. This is why I took so much time away from my spirituality path because I needed to heal and I needed to gain my energy back. After awhile, the darkness and negativity take a huge toll on you, emotionally, physically and especially spiritually. It also destroyed my faith and belief in angels as I was told I was practicing “satanism” (which I know now, of course, that I’m not) by someone who basically wanted to destroy me for their own gain. The good thing is that I survived and they ended up being lessons in the end. Which is all that really counts? So here I am once again picking up the pieces of my life, deciding what I want to keep or just leave behind. That’s the hard part.

 

if you’ve had your life completely fall apart due to a haunting or any type of bad run with spirits, then you know what I’m speaking of. I no longer blame the haunting for how my life’s turned out, there isn’t a reason for that as it’s long gone and over. Mostly I’m trying to find my way back to where I was again with no compass this time. All in due time, I guess, though…..