The long, winding, curvy, turbulent, stormy, twisting, cruel, bitter, beautiful path back to myself.

This post is designed to be honest, open and different. You are entitled to either indulge or skip it entirely.

The storm came in with a blinding force with a set determination and a wind speed that blew away any preconceived notions I had set aside in my effort to remain ‘sane’. The storm blew in chaos, disorder, hate, anger, pain. It also came with a blinding shield that I donned with no hesitation. I was determined to just ride it out as much as possible and not deal with the aftermath, or any damage that resulted. The storm blew in a darkness that was so deep it carved open a hole that I would soon fall into. The path was covered in this deep, impenetrable darkness and the turns were winding and an outcropping of rock or stones presented themselves at every opportunity. I tripped over every single one and yet placed the blame on someone else, instead of realizing who the blame should be on. I was wearing the blinding shield …so I noticed nothing was amiss at the time. I couldn’t see or hear what was being twisted around me, from something beautiful and pure to dark and cold. I never stopped to take a look around or to question the obvious. I just existed in this dark underbelly of chaos and disorder while everything we had worked so hard for disintegrated into pure ash. The path I was on was destructive, not just to myself but to everyone around my immediate vicinity and in my life as well. The decay that was left was intangible….yet very much real.

I resolutely kept trudging along, content in the darkness and not being aware of the damage that not only existed, but was being re awakened in the fog that seemed to settle over absolutely everything I tried to examine. Every thing I questioned was answered in silence, riddles or ridicule. or even worse…a lie. I tried to examine things that were being questioned, things that couldn’t wait for a month or two before being fixed. Meanwhile, while searching endlessly for the right path out of this storm….every single piece of ground we covered was demolished and replaced with quicksand. Instead of rising from the ashes like a phoenix, we sunk deeper and deeper until rock bottom was hit. This storm was violent you see..and eager to cause destruction. It was hungry for darkness, chaos and spite. It was thirsting for attention, drama and conflict. If any one of these was not to be found, it was created. If something was found to be beautiful, it was dealt a quick blow and destroyed in a matter of minutes. Nothing was allowed to thrive and grow in this tangled heap. It was destroyed by fire, blood, sweat and tears.

Nothing would be left untouched…..everywhere one looked, there was burnt out piles of life, hope, and happiness. The anger that stemmed from this storm was merciless in its wit and quick tongue to remind all of misdeeds, instead of forgetting and forgiving. It was quick to lash out and cause pain….the target often times was innocent of the alleged misdeeds. However, that didn’t matter any. The justification was silenced with a constant belittling berating fury. At times, the wind calmed enough to gather energy and strength for the next imagined battle to give it claim. Soon thorns would emerge from the many branches that stretched out into the darkness, and those thorns would cut deep into any flesh that happened to pass by. The wounds inflicted were sure to ooze not only blood, but frustration as well. The thorns would illicit anger and the blood spilled would add to the decay that was prevalent in every direction. The ash began piling up on every surface covering more of the true path and making the journey arduous. The smoke from the fires of deceit filled the sky until any sunlight was blocked out.  The darkness crept in and turned day into night, and ushered in the shadows. The truth of the matter was hidden in an attempt to illicit events of the past to transpire…..you see, this storm had a hidden agenda. Seek and destroy all that dwell and tried to find shelter from the storm.

Unfortunately, this storm didn’t seem to have an ending…it persisted because change was resisted. The path was leading to a serial repetition of events long since transpired and exhausted, and I continued along blindly. Any attempt to question or confront the storm would end in a battle wound that cut so severely one didn’t make the mistake twice. Eventually strings would end up on my arms and I was strung along blindly in a jealous rage. Busy work would ensue to keep me from seeing the haunting truth. It would take many trudges through this dark and ruined landscape for me to confront the storm and implement changes that would disable the power it carried within its depths. When it was found that the truth outshone the dark power it held, it blew away to hide in its evil depths. The light poured hope into the desolate destruction that was left behind. Wounds were cleansed, bound and on the path to healing. Lies were brought to the light and cast out. The branches were broken off and burned, the thorns turned into rose bushes in the presence of the light and sunshine. The ash blew away, never to reappear. The winds calmed to soft, gentle warm breezes. Out of the destruction came beauty, and the true path. The path lead to peace and tranquility. It carries righteousness, truth, light, love, serenity and joy. The door to the other path is currently locked and sealed, so as the storm can’t get in.

This is the descriptive story of how I found the right path once again. The tale of how I’m attempting to put my life back together after the storm finally ended. The path led to myself….I just had to find it. Readers, if you find yourself in such a storm as the one I described, do not be hesitant to ask for help. Keep asking until you receive it..and remember that although humans may make you feel alone, the truth is that you are not. Its true freedom when you get away from someone that causes a storm such as this, but healing begins when you allow the lies you were told to be sent to the light and then cast out. We are here to be loved and to love….not to manipulate others. Until next time, Lisa. 🙂

Why Your Life Story Matters and Why You Need to Tell It Now | Psychology Today

via Why Your Life Story Matters and Why You Need to Tell It Now | Psychology Today.

I found this article on my Facebook news feed, of all places. Having read it I decided to share it via a post because the article has some really good points worth noting. It explains the difference between your life story and your “story”. As in…they do not include the story of where you grew up, your first job, etc. They want you to really dig down and see if anything that has happened to you has meaning. It all makes a difference…the perception that you are important and your life does have meaning. Even the mundane has meaning. It doesn’t have to be public…my life story certainly isn’t . I’ve only shared what I’ve endured and survived in the last year alone. But I think this is certainly an article worth reading…..so I am sharing it here with all of you. Enjoy! 🙂

Conversations I’m tired of already.

I have changed this blog title out of respect for a fellow blogger..although I did receive inspiration from her. 🙂  If you are interested, the blog is Suziespeaks.  Please make a point to visit her blog. Like this topic? Then by all means stop by and thank her for the inspiration she left for me and others. 🙂

Okay moving on…. Number one conversation I’m tired of already:

I am sick to death of emote being the focal point of conversations. I understand completely that they convey feeling, but hiding behind them is completely frustrating for the person on the receiving end. Trying to build conversation around them is pointless because you just end up with a smiley being sent your way…instead of actual text which allows flowing communication. Without this, there is really no point of engaging. Seriously…limit the emote and engage in actual conversation. i tend to ignore conversations where that is the main focal and building point…because there is no way to engage and actively discuss things. I might as well be talking to a brick wall and so now when this happens, I actively disengage and ignore repeated attempts. Why bother?

Second conversation: “Your distant…and in denial”

The same tired argument….over and over. If I can get my point across once without having to make repeated attempts at explaining myself..then great. Otherwise, by the fifth time and/ or the fifth day of explaining, I’m frustrated, and give up even trying to respond in a meaningful manner. Because no matter how I phrase it, break it down, or just all out point out the obvious….if the person still doesn’t come of their high horse and make a point of trying to see the other side of the argument, its fruitless and I have better things to do with my time. Point blank.

Third Conversation: “Feel pity for me”.

I don’t give this type of conversation any attention at all. I don’t give the other party fuel for their pity party, and this may seem like I’m being heartless, but sometimes giving them fuel makes you the responsible party even if you have no part in whatever the situation is. It’s best to disengage from this type of conversation quickly and quietly. Just put the phone down, or walk away….because if they suck you in, then your own life gets pulled down into their cycle of negativity and sucks the life out of you. Plus it sucks your energy and ultimately isn’t worth it. If left alone, they will eventually tire of their self-pity and pull themselves back up. Every. Single. Time.

Fourth Conversation: ” I hate drama!”

Usually I have found that the people whom say this the most, are the ones who cause it or invite it in on a silver platter. Please….stop telling me this and just start showing me (and the world) how much you actually despise it by not actively engaging in it.

Fifth Conversation: “What are you going to do when..(insert beloved relatives name in here and their demise)”

Seriously?! That’s my business and not anyone else’s. I have my life planned out and I do not feel that I need to seek someone’s approval on how I go about laying it out for myself. It’s a form of manipulation that isn’t cute or friendly and I also tend to cut off this conversation rather quickly. There’s nothing to be gained from it. Except sparking my anger…which well then I would just be wise to walk away…in the opposite direction.

These are some of the conversations I’m tired of having already. I have mentioned five of the more common themes here but in reality there’s many more where they come from. Truth be told, I am tired of rehashing these and many others. It is draining, stressful and just not necessary. I will work out what I need to have in my life in my own time, way and speed. I haven’t done so bad lately and things are coming together, it is just slow…and that is what I wanted for five years.

So let go at this in my own way and timing and things will fall together like they are supposed to. In the meantime I’m doing the best I can for myself….and guiding myself down this journey (with help…I must add that) and so far its shaping up. It’s by no means perfect….but its my life, my journey. Usually the ones whom are judging your life are the ones too lazy to focus on their own and make changes that work for them. I wanted to blog more but honestly I am really tired and I need to make something to eat. Until next time, Lisa. 🙂

A photographic look at San Diego, Ca.

Its hot….there is no way I can effectively sugar coat that. It’s just plain HOT! Then factor in the humidity….yeah..lets not go there. I was on this laptop last night when I noticed a pinkish hue making its way into my room….I looked outside and noticed a gorgeous sunset. It was beautiful..the third time this summer we’ve been graced with an amazing sunset. I have photos of where I call home, and I am more than happy to share them here, with you. Please be advised that I am not flaunting where I live in your face…I am just merely sharing this with you. I really love San Diego! ❤ 🙂 **These are not my photos..they are courtesy of Google Images.**

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Full Moon rising over San Diego City Skyline, viewed from Harbor Island

Full Moon rising over San Diego City Skyline, viewed from Harbor Island

San Diego city skyline at night, showing the buildings of downtown San Diego reflected in the still waters of San Diego Harbor, viewed from Coronado Island.

San Diego city skyline at night, showing the buildings of downtown San Diego reflected in the still waters of San Diego Harbor, viewed from Coronado Island.

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Ocean Beach Pier, also known as the OB Pier or Ocean Beach Municipal Pier, is the longest concrete pier on the West Coast measuring 1971 feet (601 m) long.  Sunset Cliffs and Point Loma extend off to the south.

Ocean Beach Pier, also known as the OB Pier or Ocean Beach Municipal Pier, is the longest concrete pier on the West Coast measuring 1971 feet (601 m) long. Sunset Cliffs and Point Loma extend off to the south.

Picture of the clouds above the ocean beach pier reflecting the orange from the sun that has just set.

Picture of the clouds above the ocean beach pier reflecting the orange from the sun that has just set.

Granted…I didn’t always love it here….there was a whole year of time where I hated it. I actually wanted to be anywhere but where I was. Crazy, right? At the time I didn’t think so. Until I really looked around and decided I loved where I was, the city, the rural areas, the entire county of San Diego, in fact. We have mountains, inland valleys (where I currently reside), coastal areas and beaches, and deserts. I just really love it here…and the sunset’s this summer have been fantastic. Whenever a tropical system moves over us, besides the rain, the sunsets are the best part. Definitely worth the time to check out and take photos. I used to really be in love with where I live….and that has slowly come back. Even during the humid summers, such as the one we are experiencing now, I still truly love it here. I love how the air here is fresh and clean (no smog), the breeze is usually off the water except when we have the Santa Ana winds blowing through, and how this city always tends to come together to help those whom need a helping hand. Of course I can’t forget that we are a Military city….we have all four branches of the Military residing here. 89calendar-002b midway01_8in_30

The Unconditional Surrender statue with the USS Midway Aircraft Carrier Museum in the background.

The Unconditional Surrender statue with the USS Midway Aircraft Carrier Museum in the background.

The two previous images before the statue are of the USS Midway as well, once in active duty in 1989 and now retired in our bay as an aircraft carrier museum. I am also including images of The Star of India…allegedly reported to be haunted. images 50519669_3a96e224a3_b 250px-STARofIndia(c)Ted_Rufus_Ross

I absolutely adore and love San Diego as you can clearly tell..but its during the summer that it truly shines. Okay here’s a few more pictures…this time of our Coronado Bridge, which spans the distance between Coronado Island and San Diego.

Coronado Bridge, and downtown San Diego, California.

Coronado Bridge, and downtown San Diego, California.

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I hope you have enjoyed this as much as I enjoy sharing it. 🙂 Have a good Wednesday folks! Until next time, Lisa. 🙂

Well…I guess you won’t be staying?

In the midst of investing in my life, health and education….I’ve noticed more people are simply falling away from my life. Some are quiet about it and I prefer that but yet some are simply noise makers who love to be heard. I figured changing my focus would ruffle the feathers of some….but all? Some of them are people I’ve known for years now…some have stayed by my side and helped me along the way, and some just disappear under the radar. Normally no big deal, but when they make waves..it causes problems. Such as when they announce on a homepage to everyone that they’ve unfriended you. Ridiculous, really.

But I hear these things are completely normal….people naturally fall away that do not have the same vibration as yourself when you try to improve your life. I have been working on improving my life lately…as you’ve no doubt read in my posts. I love the saying ” The secret of change is not to spend energy on the old, but to spend it on building the new” …..and have been living by this for almost a month now. I’m not saying I don’t love the ones whom have stood by my side for years and are still in my life…I am just saying that I don’t need to expand so much energy on the old. After all….telling sad stories from your past tends to make them linger into your future. With my past..I’d rather it just stay away altogether.

I’m beginning to really make peace with my past and move away from it..which is a healthy, necessary step to take. Unfortunately that means certain people won’t end up with me on the same path which is just fine. Everyone has their own journey and everyone struggles with something. I’m just happy they are removed and the energy associated with them is wiped away as well. Makes way for the new and positive and that’s all that matters in the end. In some ways I suppose I can view it as a narrowing of my life as I am focused on myself…but in some ways that’s a limiting version of the truth.

The current people in my life don’t need to be struggling with anyone in my life  …and truth be told I have people in my social circle from all facets of life, diverse backgrounds, religions, countries..etc. However, I do tend to protect people who I am close too and if that means removing someone whom is toxic then that is what must be done to preserve my sanity and well-being, not to mention my peace of mind. That’s the sad part of improving one’s self…people just fall away.

Improving your life and your self is one of the greatest acts of kindness you can perform…because without the right energy and taking care of one’s self..we are of no service to others. Like Lucille Ball has said “You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world” and she is absolutely spot on. You have to start with yourself if you wish to change the world, for it improves your outlook and what starts on inside always ends up manifesting on the outside. I’ve had great results with that mindset and I have to say I believe it to be so.

I had to find inner peace and well-being on the inside before I could make my outer physical world appear more peaceful and with that being the intent, when it was made so, people who brought conflict or tension were just removed. I let them go….I will not chase anyone anymore. If they are removed, or remove themselves, I figure it’s for my own good and something is being worked out behind the scenes. I just tend to follow the plan until I see His results and His intentions. I just have to have faith and trust in Him.

Patience is another thing I’m currently working on…or attempting to at least. I don’t have much in the way of patience anymore but I am trying to strengthen that character flaw. It is a much-needed characteristic because before all of this, I had bucket loads of it. I worked with a family, a rather large family that included two elementary school kids and an infant. Patience was a given..even when it was in short supply. This is one I am currently working on.

I have always said and claimed that I never expected my life to change so drastically and this is the truth. But in hindsight…it was truly needed to open my eyes to the reality around me and what wasn’t working in my favor any longer. I realized a lot of things about myself that I didn’t like…and some that I did. Needless to say my eyes are open and I’m noticing things that I didn’t take time to think of before. I still have some character flaws but I am moving beyond them now and expanding into new ways of being, thinking and seeing. I am far from perfect but I don’t have no need to reach perfection. I am only aiming to be a better version of whom I was. No more, no less. Perfection is an illusion..and I have no need for  illusions. I’d rather keep it real and live in reality.

As this has been happening, I have also noticed the continual upheaval in my life has disappeared. There are certainly bumps in the road, but the constant arguing and emotional drama/games have gone by the wayside. The more I’m my authentic self..the more everyone around me appears to be as well. I love the freedom I have to just be myself, or live and let live. It’s a more natural state to just be….and not expect anything.

When you don’t expect anything from anyone, you will not be disappointed. I have found this to be truth as well….I would rather just have peace, calm and occasional silence rather than conflict, upheaval and drama. I just don’t have time nor a place for it. I have also learned to just ignore the ones I don’t resonate that well with. That is for the best as well, overall. I am able to concentrate more on what I want in life and that includes my education. I can’t pretend I’m passing all of my courses with perfect marks but I am more invested this time around and making more of an effort to really concentrate and be focused.

Energy flows where attention goes so that make it a no brainer for me. I have simply decided to have a more peaceful, calmer life….and that includes focusing on my quizzes and materials that are presented to me each week. For example, I’d usually wait till the last-minute to start the first writing assignment in my English course, but this time I had it ready and waiting, saved on my laptop until I needed to submit it. I’m not claiming to be better prepared than the rest of my classmates, I just know that waiting to have it submitted leaves me with time to spare and focus on my other courses and time left over to type some blog posts. Its all about prioritizing..something I have learned well. I learned this the hard way…to be prepared. Too often I have waited until the last minute to complete and submit my assignment and paid the price with my grades.

I have definitely learned from those experiences. I have also finished my career portfolio and already applied to some jobs this week. Not bad for this only being Tuesday. Typically, I’m not so productive in a single week but these last few weeks have been very different. I have learned to prioritize and etch out those things that didn’t need to be accomplished or were of  no importance …in other words I delegated tasks a level of importance in my life. Those that were important were delegated. Those that can wait or be removed altogether? Eliminated entirely. 🙂  By the way…I’ve broken this post up into small, digestable paragraphs since it is long. I figured that would be a good idea. I don’t like reading blog entries that are one run on paragraph myself so I try to be considerate to my readers in this aspect.

It’s funny how quickly life can change…or stay the same. I say embrace life…and let it change you for the better. I hated change at one time, now I welcome it. Sometimes life has to fall apart before it can fall back together, but better, and stronger than ever before and the same can be said about a person as well. Sometimes you have to completely fall apart and then you can choose how you rebuild yourself. One thing that can be taken away from all of that is; you will be much stronger in the end for having experienced whatever it was that broke you. It took me seeing that with my own eyes to really internalize and believe that. It also won’t rain forever, and that took me a long time to believe as well. All I kept seeing was the storm, instead of the good in my life I had around me the entire time. Well…I will digress for now..since this is a rather long post. Until next time, Lisa. 🙂

Silence with a cup of coffee.

its noon…and pretty quiet. Tuesday afternoon….just entering into Mid-August. I have turned off the fans finally, and the house is quiet except the tv running in the living room. its nice to have the peace and quiet. After awhile I’ll turn a fan on as it is summer and it does tend to heat up after a while. In this room (and I’ve only experienced this here) there are noises that matrix in the white noise that naturally occurs with the fans being on….loud, obtrusive, annoying noises. They disappear completely when the fans are turned off. One of the least joyful perks of living in a haunted residence, I suppose. Anyways I digress. I found this picture and I really think this is the truth. Yes we all have problems of some sort but we also have things that we are excited about, or even happy about, am I right? 🙂 We should definitely talk about them…share them on social media if you wish too…and definitely use them in blog posts..(if you wish). I’m not here to tell you what to do, but I think that part of our problem as a whole is that we dwell too much on negativity and that robs us of our happiness. I had a whole different post written and then I scraped it and went for this instead. I had just found this on my Face book news feed and I think it was timely. I have been walking now for a week straight (or two if you wish to count this as another week) and I have noticed that yesterday when I came back up the hill, I had more energy to pound it out than I have since I started the walking regime. Considering it’s two miles around total plus a hill coming back when I walk that route (as opposed to downhill) I think that’s quite the feat! I have also found a Vision Board site online that allows you to make vision boards for free and you can even download them if you wish too! In case you’re interested, the site is VisionBoard.me

Vision Board made my me. :)

Vision Board made by me. 🙂

This picture says it all.

This picture says it all.

So what do you think? Do you agree with this thinking or do you think it’s just new age nonsense? Whichever side of the fence you’re on….I do believe in being happy and that is one of our fundamental rights. However, that is all an inside job and remember that we have the option to choose how we feel. 🙂  Awesome, right? We get to choose whether outside forces disturb our inner peace. 🙂 What is your opinion? I do believe in writing and I believe that is helping me express my emotions and get my thoughts back on track. I truly love writing and I am going to be taking an intro to journalism course soon here.  Although I dislike writing essays….go figure eh? Alrighty then..I need to move along and finish this post so I can access my peer’s responses and get moving along in this course. Until next time, Lisa. 🙂

Sipping on some green tea…

So I was laying in bed last night, thinking over the past week. Once I stopped long enough, I realized how ‘normal’ it felt in my room…and ‘normal’ my life has turned out to be. Everything has shifted into the right direction…and I am always grateful for that. I haven’t felt the momentum in here that is propelling everything forward until recently…and I know this time it’s going to stick around. I haven’t really given much thought to what’s transpired because I don’t wish it to linger into the present or my future. I’d rather be in the present and just see where this takes me. I haven’t felt any sense of normalcy in here in over a year but let tell you, it feels right…it feels like a normal room in a normal house. It just feels perfectly ‘right’ and I’m grateful for that.

Also…the silence. It hasn’t been truly ‘silent’ for quite a while now…and when I turn off the fans, and close the laptop, it tends to hit me. The true silence. A safe silence. I have dreaded silence for years….started liking it ..then ended up dreading it yet again. I have shifted into true appreciation of it….because there are no footsteps to be heard, no mysterious banging, no knocking, ….just…..silence. It truly feels right..it’s the silence that follows chaos, drama, negativity, and havoc. It’s the silence that feels safe, where you don’t have to listen or be attuned all the time. I don’t have to be on high alert…the word for it (thank you Google!) is hypervigilance.  Now I just cherish the silence, especially at night.  So now I relish the silence, when I choose to enjoy it. I of course do choose…because so often people dislike silence, but it’s in those moments of silence  that we can find the answers we seek, or truly allow ourselves to relax. I have found that in those moments I don’t wonder, or ask..or even worry about anything. I just let my mind go quiet or drift..that’s the one thing that is the hardest to master. The mind. It can feel like the toughest bit of yourself to conquer..and indeed it is. But I have found that by investing in myself, I have little to no room or desire to look back or to even feed negative thoughts the fuel they need.

By investing in myself I have found true freedom…freedom that comes from no longer hiding, no longer needing approval from anyone but myself, freedom to enjoy my life and live it. I have also found that I can indeed walk two miles around the block and not only that..but enjoy those times, even when I’m walking up the hill twice and dragging myself to the house. 🙂 I have also found out that I should have accomplished this a year ago, and it would have really changed things for the best. But hindsight s always twenty-twenty you know. This time it feels right, like its at the right time, and everything has shifted to positive and encouraging. It just feels right..and it feels right to myself. I have invested in my education, and most of all, my health. By walking four miles combined yesterday, and walking ten miles total all week (two miles every day) …that adds up to 14 miles which isn’t that bad!! 🙂 I have found that this particular journey is right for me, and of course my journey is only right for me, and it isn’t suitable to the population in general. This gets me moving more and gets me out of the house, into the sunshine and around people….which really do not give a fig what you do in this neighborhood. They literally mind their own business and that is wonderful. It keeps conflict down to non-existent and allows people the freedom to just live their lives how they see fit. Pretty much how it is in San Diego in general. Live and let live.

I have found this freedom after enduring a lot of hell…and I won’t have it any other way. Because to change even a fraction of what I went through, would be to change the ending. The final result and that is not open for negotiation. I like the freedom I have now….as well as the peace. Life is better finally and I won’t accept it being any other way. Life is funny that way…it shows you the adverse reaction that you want so you may appreciate the ones that you’ve let slip by unnoticed. It takes noise to appreciate silence, chaos to appreciate calm…..and absence to appreciate presence. Its a funny thing for sure but if you don’t appreciate what you have, it can either be taken away or you won’t be content with more. Gratitude is at the heart of everything. Life has a funny way of teaching us this..and it will continue to do so if we don’t understand the lesson the first time around.

Okay so its taken me a full twenty four hours to write this….its currently 12:14 pm and I’m still on the same draft. That tells me where my priorities lie…such as sleep and watching season 5 of M*A*S*H*. Okay even though this is short I’m going to hit update and send it out to you, my readers. 🙂 Until next time, Lisa. 🙂

An interview offer, a walking routine, target audience. (Blogging 101 assignment)

The heat has decided to finally slam us with mid 90’s and a dry heat. Mind you..we are enjoying a nice breeze….but at the moment, its 95 degrees outside. Yikes!! I am sitting here sipping on green tea (hot) and listening to a marketing lecture, determined to finish this first week, as I only have a couple more videos to go. Then I am debating whether I want to battle the heat and go for my walk….we shall see. I am trying to stay on track and stay motivated and determined because it’s for the best. But man …its hot out there!

There is some good news to pass along …when I came home last night, I had an email sitting in my inbox, waiting for me to read it. It was an interview offer….apparently for the banquet server position I had applied to. Nice right? 🙂 Definitely…I am happy to have the offer. I just emailed a reply to the company, after all I can’t afford to waste it. I am hoping it turns out to be fruitful! I am really hoping everything keeps on being positive..and turns out successful in the long run. It’s indeed much-needed and also appreciated. I am seeing things turn around for the first time in many months and I am also starting to see the proverbial “fruits of my labor” as they take shape. I am definitely hoping for the best.

I just finished my walk…adding a bit more ground to it in fact. I always feel like I have more energy and stamina when I return, and yes I’m already feeling it in my legs. But its a welcome ache.

Walking or running legs in forest, adventure and exercising in summer nature

Walking or running legs in forest, adventure and exercising in summer nature *not my picture*. 

So…target audience. My readers (both present and new) are my “target audience”. All of you whom take the time to read my ramblings, my sometimes LONG posts…are my dream audience. Every. Single. One. Of. You. You make my blog what it is…and in turn we all make this platform flexible for everyone, allowing us to share what we will, and in turn leave encouraging comments or even a “like”. These things are appreciated, believe me. 🙂 We couldn’t do this without you! 🙂

I have been reading some new blogs lately….and I have found some really nice ones that I believe have some strong potential to really take off and bloom. Just hang in there and have the faith that you can make your blog all that it can be… once you get into the groove of blogging it becomes second nature to just write freely and smoothly. Some are using this as a platform to debut their writing…and to them I say this: Kudos! From the ones I’ve read so far, you’re doing wonderful. Keep it up! 🙂 I enjoy reading the blogs and I make sure to at leave the author a like or a comment. I have found freedom in just writing….just putting my thoughts out there. There is a certain amount of freedom when you stop worrying what others think about you or what you post…that is one of the greatest mental freedoms. Just write what you know best..one of the best pieces of advice I’ve ever been given.

I have one last video to finish up this week of Marketing…I have yet to un-pause the video. I haven’t lost motivation yet…to be honest marketing is pretty banal material. It is completely worth learning but ……there’s a lot of information to digest about brands and the customers, and the link between the two. If you ever stumble across a business major…. just know that they are digesting a lot of information. There’s tons of material we have to memorize and know to make it in the business world and to make sure that when we put the skills to work they run smoothly. Sometimes, it can be a tad overwhelming. But we do it because it’s what we are aiming for…and its one of our goals. Just as writing my blog is one of my other goals…its an easy one to aspire and conquer. 🙂

Another one of my goals which I’m slowly conquering is to finally finish the books I’m reading. I believe I’m reading about nine books at once…of which two are paperbacks. I need to get to reading and finish them at some point. Ah well..I have time. 🙂 Well I think I shall end this here. Have a good Wednesday!  Until next time, Lisa. 🙂

Who I am and why I’m here. (Blogging 101 assignment) .

For those of you whom are familiar with my blog, you may skim or skip this post if you desire. 🙂 I am writing this as a quick refresher for those whom may be joining me and perhaps don’t feel like reading all the way back to the first few posts (though if you’d like to, check out the archives on the front page). I am Sunnyhaze2006, sole owner and blog post writer here on the Orchid. i decided to write this blog to give myself a creative outlet to vent..(cleanly) and to gather a community of support around myself. This blog has provided an outlet me for to put my thoughts down, give myself some creative freedom, organize my thoughts and my frustrations…plus I have had the pleasure of getting my story out there and to share my journey in this world.

Its pretty intimidating at first when you realize that your post is read by scores of folks and you may have just put a chunk of yourself out there to be judged. But in the long run that vulnerability fades as you have folks rally around you and really come out and support you or just start to follow your blog. Believe me, you make all the difference in the world on the darkest days/nights when you leave a supportive, caring comment. We all need the support once in a while and its awesome to know someone understands or just cares enough to reach out. 🙂

My entire point when I revamped this blog and decided putting my journey out there in front of mankind as a whole, is to let someone who perhaps  may be in darkness or suffering from the same things I went through….to let them know they are NOT alone…although it may seem like it. There is someone out there whom truly cares and has been through the exact same things you might be dealing with. Connecting on a human level is one of the best ways to support someone, even if you have no idea that you just touched another’s life in some way. It’s the effort that really counts at the end of the day, and that makes blogging all the more worth it.

This is why I am also going to make a point to try at least to blog once a week…(perhaps more if inspiration strikes along the way that week) and to make a point to share my journey. It might just be course related posts or rants (depending) but either way, that is my goal. Blogging gives us a real chance to reach out and touch another’s life …..and maybe even meet some new and interesting people. 🙂 It’s truly a worthwhile venture and this is why I’m always grateful to have my blog on here. I haven’t posted any recipes lately so look for those to be showing up more as well. **As I usually note, if they are not my own recipe I will note that before giving the recipe and the needed steps. The original author will always be noted and given credit as well as a link to where you may find the original recipe.**

Well readers, have a fantastic week!  Until next time, Lisa. 🙂

New Plan, New Path.

So last night I decided to head into an entirely different direction than I have been up until now. I started a plan for the next few months since I have the time to devote to this: Business courses (the MBA path I was on), The GFC (Global Freshman Courses) I have signed up to take, my Write101X course I’m currently enrolled in, my career portfolio and of course applications. It gets my head onto the path I’m on and off the path I don’t belong on anymore. In doing so, I take myself out of the equation and therefore I don’t have to deal with the negativity so much anymore either. It’s just a better idea, and I’d rather invest in myself than invest energy into the supernatural world….which doesn’t have power unless given some.

I have signed up to take MBA-oriented course again because I was taking them..and got drastically off course. I don’t mind taking a history course but…when the one you’re currently taking ends in a few weeks…..well you’re better off letting it go and taking a better path. It’s just time I honestly invested in myself….and its nice to leave the past where it belongs…at least in my head. This is also a really good platform to track my progress (in words/posts) on this path and these courses. So we shall see where this path leads…eventually. Every path leads somewhere….I just have yet to find out where this one leads, and that is fine. Its the journey that counts in the long run anyways.

I decided to take charge and let this path have my attention….instead of the other way around. I have a few months to make sure my life goes on this path so I might as well take it. We shall see. Either way, where I’m headed now is so much better than where I was.. and its better than being lost in the confusion and the haze I was in for far too long. Now I know where my life’s headed and I can put  energy and effort into making this concrete and solid. In other words out of my thoughts and into my own reality…where it makes sense to me, and that’s all that matters. it’s definitely time to turn over the proverbial “new leaf” and just move forward in life instead of being stuck in the rut. That rut is deep…..and has been dug too many times. I discovered all of this while thinking these last few nights on some advice I was given….and once I got past the frustration of being under orders..I saw the message that was being delivered underneath it all.

I’m not writing this post to preach to you but I am shedding light on my ideals and my thoughts simply for myself. it is always helpful to have someone on your side as you begin in a whole fresh direction in life and so I bring you all along with me….and a few select friends as well. I’m being very selective this time so I am not pulled along on the wrong path or get distracted all over again. For years I’ve wanted to get a solid education…but when I tried, I was diverged by other people, or more accurately..other responsibilities such as a family and all of their commitments and milestones. Now that I have time for myself I am making a commitment to myself…and just investing my energy into that. Period. No ifs, ands or buts. No exceptions. Eventually,  people who do not follow the same path will eventually fade away or fall away….which has already started matter of fact. I’m just watching them fade….because they no longer serve a purpose in my life and I’m not willing to hang onto anyone that doesn’t wish to stay. No point holding someone back as far as I’m concerned…I was held back for too long and I know how frustrating it can be. It’s just not where my life is headed anymore so…..the quicker they fall away, the better.

I have also decided to not participate in others’ drama…they can suck you in and then judge you for being upset at the issue. It’s not worth it….I’ve learned people can make drama drag on for months, maybe even years…just to get attention. I don’t have to be sucked in nor be involved, and my life is smoother due to that change. It is really sad that adults love that drama..but really all it does is narrow your view, pull you in and sucks the life out of you. It also serves to take the focus off yourself and puts it onto the issues of others….rare is the person whom decides to avoid it and goes their own way these days. It’s not worth it to me. I don’t have the energy for meaningless conversations that just go around in circles….or serve to steer me off my path. No way, no how. If you find yourself on this path yourself you will find that your life is much more peaceful and centered. You might also find your purpose while you’re at it. 🙂