There’s an idea floating around on social media that says you should ‘blog/journal until you figure it out’ “it” being whatever the problem is that is blocking you from being happy. Well honestly I’d rather not. This is why I haven’t written a blog in awhile. So here instead is my idea, central around this awesome meme:
So for awhile you may read some posts that are brighter than what you’ve been reading. Then again you might read about some issues I haven’t written about prior. Either way its best to just write it out and release it all. The darkness I’ve experienced lately is nothing new…I’ve written about it in the past year, and there isn’t anything new I can report. It tends to be the same mess all the time. But this time I’m walking away from it…because I’ll get sucked into this insane world of confusion, darkness, negativity and lies, plus drama. I do not want to fuel it anymore than it has been…and it’s time to just have some peace. I’ve been sick for the last week…it started with a sore throat and progressed from there. I haven’t had good quality sleep for awhile now but I did finally get some sleep last night. Its that time of year and everyone is coming down with a cold it seems or some sort of viral infection.
This September was one of the hottest ones I can remember since moving down here, and even forecast data can back that up. We have a sudden cool down because there is a storm moving in this weekend…and it’s bringing cooler weather, gusty winds and beneficial rain to our dry region. I am just thankful it hasn’t been so windy that wildfires have been sparked…such as the Santa Ana winds. Lately its been warm….in fact these past two weeks have been nothing short of hot…90 was our typical high temperature. So I’m relieved it is finally cooling down a bit for us. We could use the rain for sure as its been exceptionally dry this past year. Today is the first day in quite awhile I can have my fans off and enjoy a nice breeze coming in. 🙂
So….changing the subject here. I earned a certificate of completion for English Style & Grammar. I only passed with a 66% percent but I am grateful to have passed at all, but to have the certificate is good as well. This is the third certificate I’ve earned from edX…..the other two being a Civil War era course and Global Sociology in addition. So all in all there is some good to come out of this lousy week, my sore throat not being one of them obviously. I’m also grateful that it’s breezy here at the moment. But more than just weather and a certificate, I’m grateful that I’ve decided to walk away from all of the drama. There’s so much peace to find when that’s done….and its just not worth missing out on peace when life is relatively short in the long run. I’m supposed to have peace…..but I cannot begin to inspire others and show them peace when I do not have it in my life to begin with. Most of our peace starts right there at home, within each of us.
I just lack a desire for conflict and arguing. However, if pushed to the limits I will fight back…and when I do, then everyone is shocked. This is something that alludes back to what I usually say..”people change” and just like the seasons naturally turn, so does the tide and the page in someone’s life. My life has several books stacked up as it is….the last two years are complete volumes of misery, darkness, and everything that wasn’t of the light. I have been trying very hard to just move forward and away from everything, to make a fresh, whole new start. Of course that gets a little sticky when you realize that certain people cannot continue along with you on this course, and they are left behind, as a natural consequence. Especially when they are so toxic to you that they threaten your safety and your well-being. This I’ve decided on…during the sleepless nights I’ve encountered lately. If they don’t match the higher frequencies/vibration that I’m at as a result of the shift and the moon (eclipse) then they just simply won’t be allowed to continue on with me. Its just easier to walk away and be done, rather than drag along whatever is holding you back. Common sense but hard to do when its someone you loved at one time. The emotional ties are the strongest and therefore, harder to release.
But for me, its the healthy alternative and the only option I have left in dealing with this. I need to have some peace and freedom from hostility, anger and drama of others. I just would rather have my comfort zone (peace) and finish healing from everything I’ve dealt with. I’m tired of thinking about all of this as well….I’ve spent two long years on this, and it is definitely time to move on. There is nothing new to be gained or any information that hasn’t already been gleaned from this. Lessons have already been learned and skills gained. I’m really just sick of the whole ordeal..and I see it like this: If you hate me, then I have no further use for you in my life whatsoever and I will not create a space for you. Simple as that. 🙂
Until next time, Lisa. 🙂