A quick change.

Well…so things changed rather quickly this week. I was scheduled for an interview at a local retail giant, which didn’t pan out, which I expected. But I went anyways, and ended up with a blister because the heels were so uncomfortable. Regardless, I went and did my best to leave a favorable impression. However, that evening (which was last night) things turned around in the space of about thirty minutes or so. I learned of a consulting position from one of my closest friends and that turned out to be a really great option to take. I decided to get onboard and see what this was all about, after being nudged to make the decision. So after a detailed conversation last night, I am now a Partylite consultant! 🙂 It’s rather easy to get started…just commit to it, make a Face book page, and have a face book party (which I’m going to learn about personally this Friday). They have some beautiful products (the cover image is one of many selections on the site) and the best part is that it allows me the needed freedom to retain being a full-time student and be employed at the same time. So it’s a win-win situation that came along at the right time.

The past is forgotten…literally. I have no memory of it and I’m told I never will regain the memories that are lost, as this time they are determined to keep it that way. I get to choose with my heart whom I retain in my life and get the opportunity to make fresh memories with, and the rest will just eventually fade away. This is the best choice for me, as I can tell by the way my heart throws emotions my way when considering whom I should keep or not.  I have also retained valuable training but I have lost the memories which kept me trapped. I am really enjoying this chance to just move forward and embrace the present and leave the past where it belongs: behind me. There are still rough patches at night, but those will fade I’m sure, given time.

Also, the weather has been beautiful lately!! About fifteen degrees cooler than expected this time of year, when we usually heat up and have dangerous Santa Ana winds. I will take and enjoy this cool down as it’s more in line with Autumn weather and this time of year. It’s hard to get into the Holiday spirit when it’s about 90 outside with a hot wind. It appears as though it’ll warm up then cool back down quickly, to more seasonal temperatures. Definitely happy about that! Anyways, we shall see where this all leads…and I’m hoping it is to brighter days and peaceful months ahead. It is definitely time for that and it’s been time for peace to reign in this house and my room. 🙂

I’m also attempting to catch up on my courses this week and into next….I’m behind in a few of them. But that is easily fixed as it just entails watching/listening to some lectures and taking notes, then getting caught up on quizzes, etc. Fortunately, recently some ended which freed up some time for me to focus on other courses that are a tad more detailed. I’m also happy that Penn State is offering some of their courses through edX …I’ve been waiting to take some of their courses. So far I’m taking a Constitution course that is proving to be worth its weight in gold. Also, I’m taking a Civil War course from professor Eric Foner, a great lecturer and unfortunately, retiring from teaching soon. So, at least future learners can benefit from his courses that are archived and especially his lectures. If you have the chance or are interested, do yourself a favor and check out this fantastic professor! He teaches Civil War era courses over at edX.

Well that is it for now…I will try to write again soon or when I have an update. 🙂 Until next time, Lisa. 🙂

Live a peaceful life.

I took a break from blogging to attend and deal with private issues that popped up unexpectedly. I read a long quote today that basically goes like this: “No one can hurt you unless you hurt yourself.” In fact, here’s the quote: 12109092_856408594455585_5019711928725118245_n

This got me thinking, and considering all the drama and negativity that I’ve been working to get away from lately, it rings true. Peace has been my ultimate goal this year, to just get away from everything that has been holding me back and down at the same time. I just really needed to get in tune with myself and notice why I kept feeling this ‘tug’ and ‘pull’ from my soul, leading me back to events that I just desperately wanted out from. I didn’t notice how much it was trying to tell me that there’s something here I needed to learn, something that wasn’t quite ‘finished’ yet…although I’m in the process of forgetting said events. I am so attuned to ignoring those ‘pulls’ and ‘tugs’ that when its repetitive and strong, I have to stop and focus on just that for a bit to gain the message. This time, it was clear. Loud and clear. There’s a lesson here that needed to be gained because it won’t stop pulling me until that occurs. I may be very ready to move on, but the tugging won’t quit and every time I try, I’m pulled back.

If you are thinking, well that’s annoying, you’d be correct in that assumption. I figured I had already gained the lessons..however, that appears to be incorrect. So here I am once again, somewhere I don’t wish to be….tuning in and essentially ‘tuning out’ the world. Now before the assumption is made that I believe there to be division, that would be untrue. There is no division….I am just tired of being in the same place, going through the same events. I’m ready to leave the past in the past, where it has belonged for a year now. Moreover, there has been a conflict inside myself that appears to have shown up in my life. I’m in the process of letting go and removing memories, and this creates problems simply because being forgotten is hard. It’s very hurtful, and at times, unnecessary. When its time to move on, its best to just go with the flow rather than resist.

Its time to move forward, to focus energies on the present and building something much more pleasant that anything I’ve left behind. I’ve been making decisions on whom to carry with me and whom to leave behind. Definitely a rough decision to make, but its imperative I decide this. I have finally found the peace I’m searching for and its time to implement it. But this doesn’t mean certain people have to be in my life, and this is where the problems come in. As it stands, I’m unsure whom I’ll recall and what not…but I do know one thing: Once the memories are erased, and the people in the memories are faded from memory, there’s no going back. In other words, its time to be happy…and its time for peace to reign as well. That alone is my main motivation….a simple word….but it carries weight, and brings about change in a positive light. Peace….besides, it’s my birthright, as is happiness.

Its been time to move forward…..but I made this decision with clear intent the other night, after truths were exposed. Sometimes, that is all it takes….and when intent is clear and strong, it naturally occurs. This world is in so much chaos that when peace does reign supreme, we mistake the calm for something being ‘wrong’ when in reality, everything’s right. The peace and calm bring clarity and truth and in the long run this is what matters the most. The only thing that matters as peace of mind is a wonderful thing. Its just time to be happy and free from the past….besides, it really has nothing new to say..I made a decision earlier about that. I just simply cannot have anything in my life that will upset anything or anyone. I can’t avoid that completely, but I will try my best to prevent it as much as possible. While it’s personal and I won’t reveal whom my choices are, it is refreshing to have come to this decision finally.

I’ve been waiting two years to return to my previously normal life, with gifts and such intact, carried with me, used in the right way, to help, not hinder nor harm. With the memories being removed, its the first definitive step to peace and as much of a normal life as possible. It will never again be completely normal…but I’ll take peace any day.

In unrelated news, I have an interview on Monday. I’ve been applying to jobs now for a few months and off and on for the last two years…so its always nice when something pops up unexpectedly. I just hope all goes well. I was out in the dining room tonight having something for dinner…when I really decided to listen to my surroundings. I noticed two things: one, pure silence, save the wind in the trees, and a cricket chirping out front, and the neighbors. Two, was the lack of any paranormal noises. It’s dead silent in that aspect and for that I’m eternally grateful. Until next time, Lisa.

So there’s this…..

There’s an idea floating around on social media that says you should ‘blog/journal until you figure it out’ “it” being whatever the problem is that is blocking you from being happy. Well honestly I’d rather not. This is why I haven’t written a blog in awhile.  So here instead is my idea, central around this awesome meme:

journal

So for awhile you may read some posts that are brighter than what you’ve been reading. Then again you might read about some issues I haven’t written about prior. Either way its best to just write it out and release it all. The darkness I’ve experienced lately is nothing new…I’ve written about it in the past year, and there isn’t anything new I can report. It tends to be the same mess all the time. But this time I’m walking away from it…because I’ll get sucked into this insane world of confusion, darkness, negativity and lies, plus drama. I do not want to fuel it anymore than it has been…and it’s time to just have some peace. I’ve been sick for the last week…it started with a sore throat and progressed from there. I haven’t had good quality sleep for awhile now but I did finally get some sleep last night. Its that time of year and everyone is coming down with a cold it seems or some sort of viral infection.

This September was one of the hottest ones I can remember since moving down here, and even forecast data can back that up. We have a sudden cool down because there is a storm moving in this weekend…and it’s bringing cooler weather, gusty winds and beneficial rain to our dry region. I am just thankful it hasn’t been so windy that wildfires have been sparked…such as the Santa Ana winds. Lately its been warm….in fact these past two weeks have been nothing short of hot…90 was our typical high temperature. So I’m relieved it is finally cooling down a bit for us. We could use the rain for sure as its been exceptionally dry this past year. Today is the first day in quite awhile I can have my fans off and enjoy a nice breeze coming in. 🙂

So….changing the subject here. I earned a certificate of completion for English Style & Grammar. I only passed with a 66% percent but I am grateful to have passed at all, but to have the certificate is good as well. This is the third certificate I’ve earned from edX…..the other two being a Civil War era course and Global Sociology in addition. So all in all there is some good to come out of this lousy week, my sore throat not being one of them obviously. I’m also grateful that it’s breezy here at the moment. But more than just weather and a certificate, I’m grateful that I’ve decided to walk away from all of the drama. There’s so much peace to find when that’s done….and its just not worth missing out on peace when life is relatively short in the long run. I’m supposed to have peace…..but I cannot begin to inspire others and show them peace when I do not have it in my life to begin with. Most of our peace starts right there at home, within each of us.

I just lack a desire for conflict and arguing. However, if pushed to the limits I will fight back…and when I do, then everyone is shocked. This is something that alludes back to what I usually say..”people change” and just like the seasons naturally turn, so does the tide and the page in someone’s life. My life has several books stacked up as it is….the last two years are complete volumes of misery, darkness, and everything that wasn’t of the light. I have been trying very hard to just move forward and away from everything, to make a fresh, whole new start. Of course that gets a little sticky when you realize that certain people cannot continue along with you on this course, and they are left behind, as a natural consequence. Especially when they are so toxic to you that they threaten your safety and your well-being. This I’ve decided on…during the sleepless nights I’ve encountered lately. If they don’t match the higher frequencies/vibration that I’m at as a result of the shift and the moon (eclipse) then they just simply won’t be allowed to continue on with me. Its just easier to walk away and be done, rather than drag along whatever is holding you back. Common sense but hard to do when its someone you loved at one time. The emotional ties are the strongest and therefore, harder to release.

But for me, its the healthy alternative and the only option I have left in dealing with this. I need to have some peace and freedom from hostility, anger and drama of others. I just would rather have my comfort zone (peace) and finish healing from everything I’ve dealt with. I’m tired of thinking about all of this as well….I’ve spent two long years on this, and it is definitely time to move on. There is nothing new to be gained or any information that hasn’t already been gleaned from this. Lessons have already been learned and skills gained. I’m really just sick of the whole ordeal..and I see it like this: If you hate me, then I have no further use for you in my life whatsoever and I will not create a space for you. Simple as that. 🙂

Until next time, Lisa. 🙂