Well…I guess you won’t be staying?

In the midst of investing in my life, health and education….I’ve noticed more people are simply falling away from my life. Some are quiet about it and I prefer that but yet some are simply noise makers who love to be heard. I figured changing my focus would ruffle the feathers of some….but all? Some of them are people I’ve known for years now…some have stayed by my side and helped me along the way, and some just disappear under the radar. Normally no big deal, but when they make waves..it causes problems. Such as when they announce on a homepage to everyone that they’ve unfriended you. Ridiculous, really.

But I hear these things are completely normal….people naturally fall away that do not have the same vibration as yourself when you try to improve your life. I have been working on improving my life lately…as you’ve no doubt read in my posts. I love the saying ” The secret of change is not to spend energy on the old, but to spend it on building the new” …..and have been living by this for almost a month now. I’m not saying I don’t love the ones whom have stood by my side for years and are still in my life…I am just saying that I don’t need to expand so much energy on the old. After all….telling sad stories from your past tends to make them linger into your future. With my past..I’d rather it just stay away altogether.

I’m beginning to really make peace with my past and move away from it..which is a healthy, necessary step to take. Unfortunately that means certain people won’t end up with me on the same path which is just fine. Everyone has their own journey and everyone struggles with something. I’m just happy they are removed and the energy associated with them is wiped away as well. Makes way for the new and positive and that’s all that matters in the end. In some ways I suppose I can view it as a narrowing of my life as I am focused on myself…but in some ways that’s a limiting version of the truth.

The current people in my life don’t need to be struggling with anyone in my life  …and truth be told I have people in my social circle from all facets of life, diverse backgrounds, religions, countries..etc. However, I do tend to protect people who I am close too and if that means removing someone whom is toxic then that is what must be done to preserve my sanity and well-being, not to mention my peace of mind. That’s the sad part of improving one’s self…people just fall away.

Improving your life and your self is one of the greatest acts of kindness you can perform…because without the right energy and taking care of one’s self..we are of no service to others. Like Lucille Ball has said “You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world” and she is absolutely spot on. You have to start with yourself if you wish to change the world, for it improves your outlook and what starts on inside always ends up manifesting on the outside. I’ve had great results with that mindset and I have to say I believe it to be so.

I had to find inner peace and well-being on the inside before I could make my outer physical world appear more peaceful and with that being the intent, when it was made so, people who brought conflict or tension were just removed. I let them go….I will not chase anyone anymore. If they are removed, or remove themselves, I figure it’s for my own good and something is being worked out behind the scenes. I just tend to follow the plan until I see His results and His intentions. I just have to have faith and trust in Him.

Patience is another thing I’m currently working on…or attempting to at least. I don’t have much in the way of patience anymore but I am trying to strengthen that character flaw. It is a much-needed characteristic because before all of this, I had bucket loads of it. I worked with a family, a rather large family that included two elementary school kids and an infant. Patience was a given..even when it was in short supply. This is one I am currently working on.

I have always said and claimed that I never expected my life to change so drastically and this is the truth. But in hindsight…it was truly needed to open my eyes to the reality around me and what wasn’t working in my favor any longer. I realized a lot of things about myself that I didn’t like…and some that I did. Needless to say my eyes are open and I’m noticing things that I didn’t take time to think of before. I still have some character flaws but I am moving beyond them now and expanding into new ways of being, thinking and seeing. I am far from perfect but I don’t have no need to reach perfection. I am only aiming to be a better version of whom I was. No more, no less. Perfection is an illusion..and I have no need for  illusions. I’d rather keep it real and live in reality.

As this has been happening, I have also noticed the continual upheaval in my life has disappeared. There are certainly bumps in the road, but the constant arguing and emotional drama/games have gone by the wayside. The more I’m my authentic self..the more everyone around me appears to be as well. I love the freedom I have to just be myself, or live and let live. It’s a more natural state to just be….and not expect anything.

When you don’t expect anything from anyone, you will not be disappointed. I have found this to be truth as well….I would rather just have peace, calm and occasional silence rather than conflict, upheaval and drama. I just don’t have time nor a place for it. I have also learned to just ignore the ones I don’t resonate that well with. That is for the best as well, overall. I am able to concentrate more on what I want in life and that includes my education. I can’t pretend I’m passing all of my courses with perfect marks but I am more invested this time around and making more of an effort to really concentrate and be focused.

Energy flows where attention goes so that make it a no brainer for me. I have simply decided to have a more peaceful, calmer life….and that includes focusing on my quizzes and materials that are presented to me each week. For example, I’d usually wait till the last-minute to start the first writing assignment in my English course, but this time I had it ready and waiting, saved on my laptop until I needed to submit it. I’m not claiming to be better prepared than the rest of my classmates, I just know that waiting to have it submitted leaves me with time to spare and focus on my other courses and time left over to type some blog posts. Its all about prioritizing..something I have learned well. I learned this the hard way…to be prepared. Too often I have waited until the last minute to complete and submit my assignment and paid the price with my grades.

I have definitely learned from those experiences. I have also finished my career portfolio and already applied to some jobs this week. Not bad for this only being Tuesday. Typically, I’m not so productive in a single week but these last few weeks have been very different. I have learned to prioritize and etch out those things that didn’t need to be accomplished or were of  no importance …in other words I delegated tasks a level of importance in my life. Those that were important were delegated. Those that can wait or be removed altogether? Eliminated entirely. 🙂  By the way…I’ve broken this post up into small, digestable paragraphs since it is long. I figured that would be a good idea. I don’t like reading blog entries that are one run on paragraph myself so I try to be considerate to my readers in this aspect.

It’s funny how quickly life can change…or stay the same. I say embrace life…and let it change you for the better. I hated change at one time, now I welcome it. Sometimes life has to fall apart before it can fall back together, but better, and stronger than ever before and the same can be said about a person as well. Sometimes you have to completely fall apart and then you can choose how you rebuild yourself. One thing that can be taken away from all of that is; you will be much stronger in the end for having experienced whatever it was that broke you. It took me seeing that with my own eyes to really internalize and believe that. It also won’t rain forever, and that took me a long time to believe as well. All I kept seeing was the storm, instead of the good in my life I had around me the entire time. Well…I will digress for now..since this is a rather long post. Until next time, Lisa. 🙂

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