Reserved……

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The above image is from Summit Entertainment. But to me it fits the feel of this post. I have been thinking for most of today and I’ve come up with this: I have been really reserved lately. Why? I’m still figuring this out. I haven’t really chatted much lately, although I do have a chat room of my own, with mods and friends. I haven’t really been texting that much either..although some could argue that point. I had it brought to my attention today that I don’t go in the rooms (chat rooms) anymore….and that one innocent line from a friend really brought forth my thoughts from the last couple hours. Do we truly interact anymore with humans? Or are we beyond reserved? I’m not talking about the much talked out “offline interaction” (which of course is vital as well) ..but I mean online. Do we post? Some are far more active on my timeline’s than others….I read somewhere that we don’t even post most of the time..we just scroll. Why?  Well the answer may lie in our own lives…perhaps nothing to post about? Or do we simply feel its best to remain quiet & reserved? Perhaps a bit of both. I have definitely become more reserved than I used to be..and that doesn’t sit comfortably with me. Have we become so complacent as a society that silence is considered the new norm? Do we go through life as robots, just simply going through the motions or are we considered a more advanced civilization? I would hope it’s the latter and not the former…but one never knows, do they? My point of writing of this is because today it dawned on me that I hadn’t really been “typing” much in the last few hours…never mind this last week. Oh sure I’ve been online….and sure I’ve scrolled…engaged when I felt I needed too….but really, my mind wasn’t on what I was doing. It was clearly on other things…things that I cannot begin to describe with any authenticity….much less in a fashion everyone would understand. Perhaps if you looked back in the archives you would find a post labeled “My personal journey” ….you would then begin to understand what I am encountering all over again..but this time I’m not afraid to speak out about it. There are people all over the world experiencing this….and someone has to speak up for them.

The last time I went through this I remained unable to speak out and put a voice to the horrors and scary encounters I was dealing with. I couldn’t lend my voice to the support of others because I was too afraid. This time I have more strength and will speak out. Speaking out about this is most often times, the only form of support one can find. Whether you believe in this or not, one things’ for sure: your belief system doesn’t change our experiences one bit. Nor does it take away from it. Sometimes life changes…sometimes we become reserved…quiet….afraid to voice our feelings or experiences. Well, being reserved doesn’t serve me well..in the end it leaves me tired and questioning things that I have accepted as the “norm” for far too long. I actually made a “bucket list” on my phone last night for 2015..and one of the things i put on there..is to “quit living life quietly” . Point blank. That encompasses basically everything that I really need to focus on. It takes awhile to live life “out loud” once again but I am determined to do it. I govern how I live life for the most part and there are certain things in my life that I need to fix about myself. One thing is my anger…I’ve written on its harmful effects here….”On Anger (or what it can do) ” .  Its the most dangerous emotion we have …and outside of stress..it does the most damage. Please feel free to browse and read the entries I’ve linked for you. They describe it so much better than I possibly can (and yes, I wrote them.)

Sometimes life throws us curveballs but the best thing to do is to swing at them…I read that on Face Book today and its so very true! Standing there being pegged by them, being bruised repeatedly is pretty lame if you ask me. So bring out the biggest bat you own and start swinging at them..see how far they go before they land. You might be surprised…and might dodge some real bullets along the way, given half the chance. 🙂 Keep on swinging and dodging! Until next time, Lisa. ❤ 🙂

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