This last week has been very, very stressful, in more ways than one. Its been filed with drama….and it just seems to keep piling up. I am now stepping back and out of it…no more. Sometimes you have to put your foot down and that time is now for me. I have decided that I will not partake in others’ drama..if they wish to live their lives that way, then so be it. But, it’s not for me. I have my courses to deal with & real life….so I don’t need the additional stress at all. Sometimes change is needed..and I think in this case, it is/was/had to be. That’s not say it doesn’t hurt…because it most certainly is uncomfortable…but something’s are not meant to continue. That’s just life. This time there is no going back…..and I understand the reasons behind it. I would rather have peace in my life rather than conflict and stress…..this opportunity isn’t made to be stressful. It’s made to be a chance for peace & that’s the only thing allowed in my life as of now. No more drama!
I’m so tired of my friend’s fighting..seriously. It’s all I’ve dealt with lately..its like I’m back in high school or something. I left that mentality behind me a long time ago…and I dislike it when people bring me into their spats. I’d rather have a peaceful life..and have everyone at the very least, respect each other…if not outright get along. I’m not asking for much…just adults to act like their adults. Ah well..their lives, not mine. Not anymore. I’m done and leaving it behind me ..in the past. Easier done when you don’t recall much…or don’t know the truth…which happens more often than not. I honestly don’t understand why people omit details or bend the truth…its still lying. Lying by omission is the WORST offense, far as I’m concerned. Means that you were not worth the whole truth in the first place.
Memories..I’ll carry the good ones with me and be content with that. An ultimatum was handed down and considering the source…I have to respect it. It sucks but it is what it is. People come and go all the time in life…some are meant to stay, and some not so much. Some irritate me, and others leave hand prints on my heart that I carry with me. It’s nice to be getting back to a normal way of living…a human existence. A quiet , calm albeit numb existence. My life is calming down as I’m removing all the mental “clutter” that was taking up so much space in my life….and the drama. I don’t have time for it..my schedule is filled with being a moderator and my courses. I finally feel human again…for so long I felt sub-human…and not “free”. I finally feel free. Not chained to a memory…..not feeling as though I need to hide. I’ve been hiding for a year and a half from a memory while he is living his life free. Well now so am I.. 🙂