Who am I to others?

I just blogged this from a blogger I follow (as you can see) because her post stood out to me. The last few weeks have been lost to the haze of trying to recall vital points and parts of myself. As frustration built up I began to make it known I wasn’t in that great of a mood…maybe not the greatest idea. However, everyone becomes frustrated. So often we get caught up in our lives that we forget to reflect and step outside ourselves to check the reflection we’re giving off to others. When I’m both tired and frustrated, it clearly shows. Same as when I’m happy and at peace. I sometimes wonder who I am portraying myself to be….to others…my readers on here and my friends as well. You don’t know much about my life except what I’ve shared here. That’s only a slice of whom I really am. Is it the authentic me? Yes. Is it the whole picture? No. I actually refreshed the look of this blog for that reason…to expand on whom I am (and how I share it) because in my opinion the other design (the way I had it) was too limited. So…expansion came to mind. Good idea? Definitely. Scary? Best believe it!

I am not used to sharing so much of myself online to strangers. However, since I do have a FB account I should be used to it by now. Which leads me back to my train of thought for this post….do we always see the forest? No. Can we try to see the forest from the trees? Of course. Look at the bigger picture and realize what works and what doesn’t in the eyes of your audience, regardless of what the platform is. Unfortunately I cannot tell at my own glances through my blog how I come across to some of you….especially in the earlier posts. Do they scare you with their brave, strong, dark content or do you hang in there and follow my journey through post by post..up to this point? That’s entirely your decision and I have left them up for the most part….without taking away from the story they weave. To erase that is to erase what I survived…and that would take away from who I am. I’m not willing to do that…for anyone. I have also expanded this blog because I am not one – dimensonal..I’m multi~faceted as are many human beings. I was a housekeeper/nanny for five long years..it ended on a bitter,angry note that led to some dark times and now I am climbing my way back out,. It made me who I am now. 🙂

I have no idea who I come across as to you all….based on entries alone. But I do wonder often times how I look/come across to my friends? Angry? Occasionally, yes. Strong? I’d hope so! Mean? At times, yes I can be. Considering the patching job I had to do to one friendship I can tell I wasn’t always the nicest person in the world but I am working on fixing that as I go along now. Do I come across as someone who takes a bunch of courses and gets overwhelmed and tired? Most likely. But that’s just who I am…..all of those perceptions don’t make up who I am..but they do play a role in people’s perceptions of the whole picture. You own opinions color your perception and that’s just fine. That is human nature, after all. I am guilty of that as well. Everyone is..but don’t judge the book by its cover I say. Give it time and delve deeper…you might just find an authentic person under the layers they choose to show the world at large online or in person. I’m not perfect nor am I free from stumbling and making errors along the way…that is how we learn and evolve. We must never stop growing or learning. That’s the point of being alive..to grow..evolve…and be happy. 🙂

Our own perception of being happy…there is no “one size fits all” that applies there. It just goes with whatever your definition is. Just don’t get bogged down in others perceptions. What may work for one, may not apply to the other. That’s just life and how it’s made up. We’re guaranteed happiness..it’s in the Bill of Rights after all..listed under the right to “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.”  Whatever makes up the pursuit…that makes you who you are. Your own journey. But don’t forget to occasionally step back from yourself and see what makes up the whole picture of “you”…what makes you tick…what makes you happy…those things define you. How do others see you? Until next time, Lisa. 🙂 ❤

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