This last week has been very, very stressful, in more ways than one. Its been filed with drama….and it just seems to keep piling up. I am now stepping back and out of it…no more. Sometimes you have to put your foot down and that time is now for me. I have decided that I will not partake in others’ drama..if they wish to live their lives that way, then so be it. But, it’s not for me. I have my courses to deal with & real life….so I don’t need the additional stress at all. Sometimes change is needed..and I think in this case, it is/was/had to be. That’s not say it doesn’t hurt…because it most certainly is uncomfortable…but something’s are not meant to continue. That’s just life. This time there is no going back…..and I understand the reasons behind it. I would rather have peace in my life rather than conflict and stress…..this opportunity isn’t made to be stressful. It’s made to be a chance for peace & that’s the only thing allowed in my life as of now. No more drama!
I’m so tired of my friend’s fighting..seriously. It’s all I’ve dealt with lately..its like I’m back in high school or something. I left that mentality behind me a long time ago…and I dislike it when people bring me into their spats. I’d rather have a peaceful life..and have everyone at the very least, respect each other…if not outright get along. I’m not asking for much…just adults to act like their adults. Ah well..their lives, not mine. Not anymore. I’m done and leaving it behind me ..in the past. Easier done when you don’t recall much…or don’t know the truth…which happens more often than not. I honestly don’t understand why people omit details or bend the truth…its still lying. Lying by omission is the WORST offense, far as I’m concerned. Means that you were not worth the whole truth in the first place.
Memories..I’ll carry the good ones with me and be content with that. An ultimatum was handed down and considering the source…I have to respect it. It sucks but it is what it is. People come and go all the time in life…some are meant to stay, and some not so much. Some irritate me, and others leave hand prints on my heart that I carry with me. It’s nice to be getting back to a normal way of living…a human existence. A quiet , calm albeit numb existence. My life is calming down as I’m removing all the mental “clutter” that was taking up so much space in my life….and the drama. I don’t have time for it..my schedule is filled with being a moderator and my courses. I finally feel human again…for so long I felt sub-human…and not “free”. I finally feel free. Not chained to a memory…..not feeling as though I need to hide. I’ve been hiding for a year and a half from a memory while he is living his life free. Well now so am I.. 🙂
I just blogged this from a blogger I follow (as you can see) because her post stood out to me. The last few weeks have been lost to the haze of trying to recall vital points and parts of myself. As frustration built up I began to make it known I wasn’t in that great of a mood…maybe not the greatest idea. However, everyone becomes frustrated. So often we get caught up in our lives that we forget to reflect and step outside ourselves to check the reflection we’re giving off to others. When I’m both tired and frustrated, it clearly shows. Same as when I’m happy and at peace. I sometimes wonder who I am portraying myself to be….to others…my readers on here and my friends as well. You don’t know much about my life except what I’ve shared here. That’s only a slice of whom I really am. Is it the authentic me? Yes. Is it the whole picture? No. I actually refreshed the look of this blog for that reason…to expand on whom I am (and how I share it) because in my opinion the other design (the way I had it) was too limited. So…expansion came to mind. Good idea? Definitely. Scary? Best believe it!
I am not used to sharing so much of myself online to strangers. However, since I do have a FB account I should be used to it by now. Which leads me back to my train of thought for this post….do we always see the forest? No. Can we try to see the forest from the trees? Of course. Look at the bigger picture and realize what works and what doesn’t in the eyes of your audience, regardless of what the platform is. Unfortunately I cannot tell at my own glances through my blog how I come across to some of you….especially in the earlier posts. Do they scare you with their brave, strong, dark content or do you hang in there and follow my journey through post by post..up to this point? That’s entirely your decision and I have left them up for the most part….without taking away from the story they weave. To erase that is to erase what I survived…and that would take away from who I am. I’m not willing to do that…for anyone. I have also expanded this blog because I am not one – dimensonal..I’m multi~faceted as are many human beings. I was a housekeeper/nanny for five long years..it ended on a bitter,angry note that led to some dark times and now I am climbing my way back out,. It made me who I am now. 🙂
I have no idea who I come across as to you all….based on entries alone. But I do wonder often times how I look/come across to my friends? Angry? Occasionally, yes. Strong? I’d hope so! Mean? At times, yes I can be. Considering the patching job I had to do to one friendship I can tell I wasn’t always the nicest person in the world but I am working on fixing that as I go along now. Do I come across as someone who takes a bunch of courses and gets overwhelmed and tired? Most likely. But that’s just who I am…..all of those perceptions don’t make up who I am..but they do play a role in people’s perceptions of the whole picture. You own opinions color your perception and that’s just fine. That is human nature, after all. I am guilty of that as well. Everyone is..but don’t judge the book by its cover I say. Give it time and delve deeper…you might just find an authentic person under the layers they choose to show the world at large online or in person. I’m not perfect nor am I free from stumbling and making errors along the way…that is how we learn and evolve. We must never stop growing or learning. That’s the point of being alive..to grow..evolve…and be happy. 🙂
Our own perception of being happy…there is no “one size fits all” that applies there. It just goes with whatever your definition is. Just don’t get bogged down in others perceptions. What may work for one, may not apply to the other. That’s just life and how it’s made up. We’re guaranteed happiness..it’s in the Bill of Rights after all..listed under the right to “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.” Whatever makes up the pursuit…that makes you who you are. Your own journey. But don’t forget to occasionally step back from yourself and see what makes up the whole picture of “you”…what makes you tick…what makes you happy…those things define you. How do others see you? Until next time, Lisa. 🙂 ❤
I have to re-post this seeing the first time I did…I am guessing I didn’t publish it? I couldn’t find it at any rate. Anyways I just wanted to give you a quick update on what I am doing..I branched out from Coursera and Edx to find some other quality online education sites. The ones I found are Udemy and Alison. On Udemy I have found a Geography course that makes sense to me and I love! 🙂 ❤ I have also found a Biology course since I didn’t do well the first time around..I’m giving it another shot. Also I will include an article I am currently reading about students and coffee…...http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/09/01/college-coffee_n_5711129.html I will write a lengthier blog entry next time, dear readers… until next time..Lisa. 🙂 ❤
I made two home made coffee cakes this week..unfortunately this is not my own picture or recipe. But if you’d like to try this making this classic..here is a recipe:
Courtesy of BigOven.com.
Adjust oven rack to center position and preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Grease two 8-inch round cake pans, or a 9- by 13-inch pan, or a 9- or 10-inch tube pan; dust pan(s) with flour, knocking out excess. Set aside.
Make the Crumb: In a medium-sized mixing bowl, wisk together the flour, sugar, salt and cinnamon.
Melt the butter in the microwave or in a small saucepan over low heat. Remove from heat and stir in the vanilla and almond extracts. Gradually drizzle the melted butter mixture into the flour mixture while continuously and gently tossing with a fork. Continue to toss until all the butter is absorbed and you have a uniformly moistened crumb mixture. If texture of crumb is too small, gently squeeze small clumps together to make large crumbs ranging in size from that of a pea to that of a grape, about 1/4- to 1/2-inch in size. (Adding the butter too fast and/or over-mixing can result in the crumb mixture coming together as a solid dough. If that happens, simply use your fingers to break-up the solid crumb mixture into big crumbs, about 1/4- to 1/2-inch in size. Crumbs don’t have to be uniform, just try to get most about this size.) Set aside while you make the cake batter.
Make the Batter: In a large bowl, cream the butter and sugar together with an electric mixer on high speed until light and fluffy. Add the eggs, one at a time, beating after each addition. Beat in the vanilla and sour cream, scraping down the sides of the bowl with a spatula as needed. In a medium-sized bowl, whisk together the flour, baking soda, salt and baking powder. Add flour mixture to the sour cream mixture and beat on low or stir with a large spoon until evenly combined.
Turn the batter into the prepared pan(s) and spread evenly. Sprinkle the crumb mixture over the batter with your fingers, covering the batter evenly and completely. Bake 8-inch rounds for 20-25 minutes, or a 9- by 13-inch pan for 30-35 minutes, or a 9- or 10-inch tube pan for 35-40 minutes. Cake is done when a wooden pick or cake tester inserted near the center comes out clean, and the sides of the cake are golden and slightly pulling away from the edge of the pan. Remove from the oven and let the cake cool in its pan(s) set on a wire rack. Carefully transfer the cake, crumb side up, onto a serving plate. Dust with confectioners’ sugar, if desired.
Makes 16 (2-inch) wedges, 24 (2-inch) squares or 16 (1 1/2-inch) slices.
The secret to the incredible crumb of this coffeecake is a simple technique; melting the butter prior to combining it with the sugar and flour…it makes all the difference.
This beauty if a tabby cat lives with me now. 🙂 I am also very grateful to have her back with me again after being separated for a year and a half. We missed each other dearly but now she is back in the same house with me.=) I had to move away and left her with my mom for that span of time. I missed her dearly….and I’m very grateful she’s here. 🙂 🙂 =)
I know WP (WordPress) did a feature on this already but I never actually wrote an entry on this so here goes. I’d like to personally be remembered for being a caring, sensitive, thoughtful individual. I know I’ll be remembered by some for the darkness I went through for so long, …but perhaps I’ll also be recognized for being loving finally on the other side of it all. Maybe I’ll be remembered by some for being a loyal, caring friend and family member who wasn’t afraid to speak her mind on certain issues or push the boundaries to fit my own idealism. Or, maybe I’ll be remembered for all my coursework and the certificates on my wall? These are well and good, but they don’t define me. They are only a picture…or a quick snapshot of whom I am. I haven’t really let others into my life or close enough to me to really tell my story or let them find out. If they get close I usually push them away. It’s for my own protection. But more and more I am learning to let others in…but its a slow process. I haven’t really shown anyone my story…or you, my readers..anything much in the way of myself. I will mention her here because she’s a favorite blogger of mine…Jennifer Kiko. (if you don’t already follow her…check out FarmGirl Follies on WP…one of my favorite all time bloggers.) I’ve always admired her for her bravery in showcasing her life online….her beautiful farm and her family as well. She is just not afraid to put her life out there….and I have always been a bit timid to put too much of myself out there for the public at large.
I want to finally break out of that mold and begin to show/write more of my life. The good parts. the smiles..the laughs..the animals we call pets….I would like to share all of that. Occasionally you might read a post or two about my courses or if the coding isn’t going as planned…..in other words. I just want to publish what makes me happy and share it with you all. =) Ty for being loyal, dedicated followers/readers. I truly appreciate your diligence and patience for a new post..even when it takes me months to publish a newer one. I truly am grateful. For this is how I would like to be remembered….being happy…grateful and caring/loving, authentic and me. 🙂