This past weekend was very busy and I’ve felt it since then. Actually I’ve felt this tired for a while now…but haven’t dealt with it. More to the point, I’ve pushed it aside till now when it’s hit square in the face. I’m ready to hit the pillow at around seven or eight pm my time….which is unlike me. Before you suggest sleeping pills..I have that covered already. I am one tired lady lately and if you don’t believe my words one look at my eyes will convey the message to you quite clearly. My life has settled down massively finally..now that I’ve rid myself of one very toxic friendship (good riddance!) and y life has almost zero drama. I know, amazing right??? Reading up to this point you might start to wonder! Lol but yes my life is pretty quiet and calm and I think that may be why the exhaustion of everything I went through is hitting me like a ton of bricks now.
Once you keep going and push past the signals your body is sending out, the aches and pains, and the fear and uncertainty and just become determined to keep pushing on and on till you break..you don’t feel the exhaustion nor the sheer weight of what you’re carrying until the point that you hit the wall, and you say that’s it! Then once you are relaxed enough…BAM!! The sheer exhaustion hits you like a proverbial slap in the face. Hard and swift. Plus your body aches (because once you run on adrenaline, you don’t feel pain. One of the tricks of your body.) With enough sleep your body naturally repairs the aching muscles and they get to start fresh.
But if you are living with constant stress and tenseness (is that a word?) in your life, you are slowly run down, mentally, physically, spiritually, and emotionally. The saddest thing is that you don’t even realize it!! You may very well be making your own life toxic and you wouldn’t even realize it. Stress is such a dangerous thing its known as the silent killer..along with heart disease. (Which, BTW prolonged stress can lead too.) Tired? Achy? Sick? Feeling run down and ragged? Stress may very well be at the forefront of all of that. You wouldn’t even realize that until you de-stress effectively and decide to just relax. The best way to do that, is of course society tends to turn against….and that is ..disconnect. From everyone for a while. I didn’t think my stress in my life was that unmanageable but it becomes this way when it’s allowed to build up plus more added onto as time goes by.
I would have been well rested by now (I had four months after all) but I had to tie up loose ends before being able to relax. Now I am paying the price with my health and how fatigued I am at the end of every day. I’ve gone through a hell of a lot in the last year or so (maybe two?) and I am feeling the effects of it all at once. If you can take anything away from this post ..let it be that: Take time to de-stress and relax. Do not carry the stress of other’s on your shoulders. Let it go..before it reaches unhealthy levels. I have met and made more friends on a social media chat site. I am now also modding a chat room to help them out. I am also still pursuing my MBA but those courses are now on hold till the next set of courses starts. Atm I am only taking two courses which is a nice reprieve. =) The heavier energies of stress, anger, frustration, hurt, guilt and resentment finally took a heavy toll on me and I have paid the price for all of that.
My relationship ultimately ended up heading south which is fine because I need time to work on myself now that I’ve survived everything that was meant to kill me. I am a stronger person now and that is part of what has kept me going so strong these last few months. The other part of that is my *real* friends that I’ve discovered all the way through this. I’m always grateful for their presence in my life and their perseverance and resilience. I do have some good news to add to this post: I finally have my favorite cat back with me!!!! I get to see her and pet her everyday! 🙂 ❤ ❤ ❤ 🙂 Until next time..Lisa.