Make Time for YOU.

An inspiring post. 🙂 If you like it, please swing by http://quickmeups.com/2014/11/25/make-time-for-you/
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You have so much to do. From the time you wake up to the time your lay down at night, you’re constantly busy.

How much time do you have for yourself?
Do you make time for yourself?

If you’re like most people, the answer is probably… not enough. Some people even feel that it’s selfish to take time for themselves when there’s so much to do. But just as you dedicate time to your friends and family, you also need to do so for yourself.

Make Time for YOU.

"42 degrees, same book, relaxing at the beach, watching passing by dolphins." Reading and relaxing at the beach. Photo Happy_Serendipity

As children, we had hours each day to spend on what ourselves. Whether that was playing outside, practicing a sport, riding bikes, or just having an adventure, we had a surplus of “me time”.

With limited to no responsibilities, it’s very easy to make time for yourself. As we get older and our…

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Don’t live in the past.

This post is inspired by a friend of mine (name withheld) that has been texting me this last month or so now. This person was around me for five years…and therefore knows the darkest parts of myself. However, they have one character flaw: they live in the past, and see it as idyllic. No reality seeps in…it’s all “rose-colored glasses”. I remember it very differently, however: I see the black spots, the memories conveniently twisted to ensure happiness and perfection.

When something is seen as less than their personal standards, it’s blamed on the other person in one way or another. They have determined that present reality has no place in their lives and therefore chooses not to live in it. I however, enjoy the present moment and choose to accept reality without sugar-coating it nor making it ideal. I just accept what it is and that makes it alright. The memories they choose to gloss over are the most damaging, and therefore the hardest to forgive.

I remember it as dark, bleak and fearful…nothing to be wishing or longing for. Certainly something to feel guilt over yes…but we’ve made our mutual peace with it. I did years ago…we were young and stupid. Simple. However, I guess that’s not enough…..for some people the past reflects something that the present may be lacking. Most people would find what it is and seek it out, or create it to embody the present moment and be able to embrace it fully. While others don’t. They miss the most important details and events surrounding them or choose not to participate fully because they are stuck in a past already lived, therefore never making new memories.

I remember more accurately the details….the grizzly details that they promptly forget….the long nights spent fighting….the long days of silence….the nights of knowing something was off. I remember all of this and more so to myself the past doesn’t represent anything more than me escaping a bad situation into a safer one. Me leaving with my life intact…but the rest of myself damaged. In fact, some of my body still held the bruises from the last fight. I remember the blow ups…the arguing..the swearing, the words that cut deep at that time. I remember the distance and the silence….the assumptions, the insinuations.

Life wasn’t all peaches and cream but at the time it was life. It was accepted so I could survive. My body remembers the five car accidents in five years….I remember a lot of details. I remember sitting alone in a cold house, with the table set…and finally putting the food away and blowing out the candles, and heading to bed. These details and more are conveniently left out of their memory. I recall …..it’s a shame that they choose not too, yet express remorse for the wounds sustained that left scars on my face and body. To me, it’s empty remorse.

They try to prove that they have changed, but I see the same personality quirks and traits that were there years ago. The only thing that has changed is age and locale. Otherwise it’s the same ole thing…the same ole re run. No thanks..I  prefer the present…the light that I have found, the love, the freedom, the happiness…therefore not limited to a self-induced prison of living a life already lived. I have moved beyond all of that and finally healed from it….and let it go.

My present is bright and I enjoy it although it’s frustrating at times. I prefer to see reality for what it is rather  than the nostalgia …..of years gone by, of lessons learned….and less than idyllic conditions. This, my dear readers, is called living in the present moment and not letting the past sneak up on you and ruin it. I prefer the “here and now” to what I’ve gone through and survived…and to anything else in my past. I have finally stopped running and have found what I was looking for. I wish this person the best and I hope they find what they are looking for in their life. But it’s just not for me…don’t live in the past folks. Until next time..Lisa. =)

Thanksgiving 2014/What I’ve learned. <3

bird2 diiner4 dinner dinner2 dinner3 sides sides2 stuffing the bird turkey

These pictures pretty much sum up our Thanksgiving this year. We had it early again this year….mainly because the turkey was completely thawed once again and so it had to be cooked. Overall it turned out really good and once again, the turkey came out perfect. :=) It was exhausting work to be honest…but in the end it’s always worth it. The hard work put in equals great food when it’s finished. The mashed potato’s were home made and that meant an hour spent peeling potato’s then boiling them to make sure they were soft. The only thing not pictured was the six inch pumpkin pie that we enjoyed that night as well. 🙂 I am very glad that this only occurs once a year as it’s exhausting and very muscle- ache inducing work. I was very sore the next day and still am a bit. But all in all it’s worth the hassle every year..every burn, every curse word uttered, every vegetable chopped, every turkey stuffed and every member fed. 🙂 It’s the small things that matter and I tend to forget the bad and keep the good instead. It’s worth it to spend the Holidays with my “family” and see them well -fed and happy. =)  For that and other things this year, I am grateful. I am also grateful to simply be alive…and be enjoying the Holidays this year. Be more involved in my own life and my friend’s lives as well. It’s taken a year to be more involved but I am finally working on myself (quietly now) and doing what I gotta do.

Sometimes it takes awhile to get back into the swing of life especially when you have to battle darkness in the meantime. Darkness serves to pull you down, to destroy you and take you out of the swing of life. Well it succeeded with me this last year but now I am finally climbing back out and recovering what’s left. I am also finding out whose still by my side without criticism and that list is, unfortunately, short. Oh well…that’s life. Things change and so do people..either by choice or because of their individual, private circumstances. Mine was a bit of both. I just decided I didn’t want to feel like that anymore….like my life consisted of constant darkness, silence and a void, not to mention feeling empty. So….just changed it. It’s not an overnight process..it’s a lot of work to overhaul your entire life but it is possible with enough time and small steps. You cannot take huge leaps and bounds and expect change so soon. Not the way it works. Working on yourself takes time, patience and love..lots of love. Also eliminating the negative people in your life really works wonders …it frees up extra space in your life, head and heart for new, positive people and familiar ones that helped you along. Embrace life, family, friends (and the friends that turned into family). After all family is whatever you opt it to be. So..pick and choose..but choose carefully. Live and learn..but don’t be so busy learning that you forget to live. Don’t let darkness suck you in. That’s your first mistake. The second is thinking that darkness is anything but an illusion…its only an illusion.

So as you go along this year and celebrate the Holidays with friends, family and loved ones…remember to take along a bit of patience, extra love and be prepared for possible travel delays. Remember the actual reason for the Season..it’s not the presents under the tree. If you need a reminder…its as close as the Bible. Enough said. We all get stressed out at times..but don’t allow it to consume you. It’s a liar and a thief. It thinks everything is an emergency and must be addressed right then…that’s a lie. It steals your joy, and your involvement in the present moment and also your piece of mind. So take heart and a deep breath and try not to let stress dictate your life. Until next time..Lisa.

WordPress Prompts..longer blog posts.

I think in all of my blog posts, I’ve written exactly one long post. Then I tend to write shorter and shorter posts and ultimately become the lazy blogger that never updates said blog. Ever. Fast forward six months and there will be a new post, finally. Life got dark and dramatic but is now back to being cool and slow, not to mention bright. I am always grateful to have the quiet slow pace come back….as that is usually the first thing to go. So now that it’s back and I’m caught up all of my courses I guess it’s time to update the blog with a fresh post. Halloween passed thankfully and now it’s onto Thanksgiving. We have our  21 lbs turkey again this year along with everything needed to prepare it..as well as pie. (This year I remembered the rolls and pie.) However this year started out with a quiet bang…..we got overcharged for everything, including the turkey!! We spent a total of $121.00/four people! That might be cheap in your standards, especially if you have a large family but for us…it’s a lot more than we spent last year and we forgot two items! Also this year it might be done early again, for the same reason we had it early last year. So…all in all not a big deal. The turkey is thawing in the fridge currently and its doing a slow thaw so I am grateful for that. Grateful that maybe it’ll hold till Thanksgiving and we can just do it the day of. I hold out hope at least.

Also, the weather in NY is just downright horrible. I feel for those folks…I really do. I know what it’s like to be stuck in your house because of snow. But these folks cannot even open their front doors..the snow is directly up against it. Same applies for their garages. I have seen some of them trying to dig out but when you have fifteen Ft. snow drifts…where do you even start? Plus by Friday they will have two more Ft. of snow to add onto the amount they already have. So….I truly feel for them and I hope that someone somewhere can help them dig out eventually. Smh….the weather is just crazy recently and it’s definitely a little early for that much snow!! By this weekend they will be in the 50’s so once that starts melting …I can only imagine the flooding that will take place!! I’ve been in that situation once…and it wasn’t a pretty picture. Ditches overflowed, as did basements from the amount of water that was flowing in from the saturated ground above it. Lots of personal items that year, ended up being ruined, including photos. It’s a sad reminder what Mother Nature is capable of if you tamper with the environment too much.

Another subject I wanted to touch on is privacy. I don’t mean privacy online …I’ve touched on that subject once before. I am talking about good old fashioned privacy. The kind where you if you told someone something private or personal..they respected you enough to keep it that way. A growing problem is that if you send someone something online, such as a pic or some sort of private information they tend to go back and use it against you in harmful or evil ways. Or if you get them upset or hurt them, they get vindictive and use it against you in ways that are just immature in nature. Such as revealing private information, or pictures that have been sent on Skype….nothing stays private anymore. When a place deteriorates to being something that is just a battle field instead of the loving, friendly place it once was, you can expect that sort of behavior. People nowadays just back-stab regularly without a second thought of how that affects another person/person’s. The lack of empathy these days is astounding and it clearly demonstrates where the world went so wrong. This generation lacks empathy and morals as well as any real consequences for their wrongdoing. When you leave high school, you are expected to leave that sort of behavior behind you. But unfortunately some people still seem to carry that bubble around with them as they age, which actually prevents them from growing as individuals.

If people treated others as genuine, real people who have feelings and use tact plus diplomacy when dealing with others, the world would have been a different place. Before the tech age came along, we had more of that and less of the latter. Unfortunately, life evolves and changes along with people. Cyber hacking came to be more prevalent, as did cyber bullying. It’s to the point that you can only trust a few people and only open up to a few because the rest are just merely curious and want something new to gossip about. I’ve seen this happen day in and day out in a chat room I am a regular in. This is sad and unfortunate but also a part of our daily lives. It’s reality. So much of humanity is loving the darkness…..when it should be embracing the light. The evil that is so prevalent in our world makes us all go into hiding and shut down….makes us less social. As well as that of bullying in any form online…whether on Face Book (which I’ve covered as well before) or in a chat room. Yes we all have people that we don’t get along with..or just don’t like. However, it’s easier to block them or just simply ignore what they type rather than attack them and start an online flame war. I should know..I’ve done this until just recently. It’s never worth it in the end…it just makes wherever your at….less enjoyable for yourselves as well as others. Plus it gives them the attention they are craving. Just not worth it….plus is it actually worth making someone feel less-than about themselves? If they are doing this behavior already..then they are simply acting out of how they feel about themselves and really don’t need reinforcements. Just my opinion but think about it…..and I don’t mean giving out your credit/debit/home address/phone number information either. I’m talking information about someone’s life. Just be careful whom you trust.  Until next time..Lisa.

Why can’t you be happy?

I got asked this tonight and instead of being defensive, I took time to consider it and answer the best I could. To be honest, I’m healing ….and that itself is a full time process it seems. But that doesn’t mean that my social life has to be such slim pickings. I do have a full friends list…of people that I stopped talking to. Basically  in the last year my social life has been divided into two categories: My team…and everyone else. So now I have to cross over into the “everyone else” category and just determine to stay there. I’ve been so determined to just talk to my team mates this last year that basically I pushed everyone away that wasn’t them. I know it’s a cold heartless thing to do but they have all stuck by my side while I dealt with I had going on. Thankfully that is in the past now FINALLY…so now back to building my life back up. I haven’t done that much lately to work on that and I think I should start to put my energy back into that and get things back to how they used to be for me.  The easy answer to that is that my life changed and I’m still healing.

However,…the longer answer is a lot detailed and more close to the truth: Which is, that basically I stopped talking to and pushed everyone else away that wasn’t my “team”.  They became my second family…but they were the only ones who understood what I was going through. However, that limited and squashed my friendly social self..and I am very social as a human being ( I’m a Libra-we’re social) and so that truly attacked my spirit. It made me feel that the life I had before is gone and never attainable again, although that isn’t the truth. In fact, it’s an outright lie made by the one who tried killing me. My life is not only attainable, it’s there waiting for me to grab it again. By the damn horns. I was happier, busy yes but happier..and always around people. Now, if you watched a video of who I was then…you’d wonder what happened to me now and if that was the same person that appeared in said video. I wonder sometimes if that life was just a dream…but the truth is I had to hide to protect myself and now I have to really understand that I can stop hiding and really live my life. I’ve lived hidden away for so long now that I really have to struggle to re-embrace life and my friends, before I lose them. I’m truly grateful that they have stuck by my side for so long. Life has changed and gone along evolving without me truly noticing…but now my eyes are wide open. I feel like now it’s safe to re-emerge and I think it’s time too as well. I really need to come out of my self induced cocoon. One step at a time. Until next time..Lisa.

Privacy.

Privacy is a thing that most take for granted, and thus it is a right that we have. It is also a privilege denied to many especially the younger generation. Privacy is something that we as Americans, or just any human being, complain about the most, whether it’s our medical records, cell phone conversations/text messages/voice mail, computers/Ipads/tablets/desktops or just simply in our everyday lives. I have had mine invaded in the worst ways during in the last year but however have made steps to secure that. I despise it when people just walk into someone’s private space without asking..it’s just rude. No matter if my door’s open..it doesn’t mean I have a walk-in policy. What it does mean is that sometimes I want some damn privacy. My life in general in the last year has been open to my friends so they could help me in all aspects but I have since scaled that back dramatically. When you deal or meddle in someone’s else’s life. take care not to overstep your boundaries. Be very careful what you do…and don’t interfere where your not first asked or needed. It can cause a lot of havoc and chaos that just isn’t needed. Respect goes a long way towards someone’s privacy and private life. In this digital world where everyone’s most basic, private info is just a stepping stone away it’s the most important to hide and protect any kind of information, whether digital or otherwise. Just like hackers can watch and talk to your baby through an online hacking system…through a baby monitor….so can they hack into your phone or computer or PDA and steal your valuable information. This information isn’t anything new but I am using to state my case. Be very careful if you walk into someone’s life..just because they are willing to let you into their private world…doesn’t mean you should take advantage and go sneaking around like a thief in the night when they are not around to defend their space. That is overstepping bounds and goes right into psychotic.

Also..when someone feels an insane need to control someone because they think that will help them in the long run…or prevent them from leaving….well maybe they should look at their own lives before stepping in. No one has any damn right to just take over someone else’s life by preventing them from moving forward into potential growth and out of whatever situation is hurting them or hindering them. When your a friend and helping someone, holding them back is out of pure selfishness and not out of consideration. People need to move forward in life on their journey..its the only thing that makes it possible for us to live a more fulfilling life. We as humans are supposed to grow and begin new adventures….that’s the way life is meant to be lived. Whether its a personal adventure or one of travel perhaps, you are supposed to branch out into new opportunities. So do not let someone else hold you back and hold you down …it only suppresses your own growth. Leave them with their own insecurities and limited potential…while the sky is the limit in life.

So spread your wings and fly…..and hope that one day the ones who tried holding you back realize that they messed up and will begin their own personal journey of growth. Until next time…Lisa.