Houses on the hillside, and images of where I call home.

There are houses on the hillside directly across from the front of our house. I’d include a pic but it seems Google has other plans. Anyway’s, they are the expensive kind..the nice kind that actually signals the end of the rural life out here. There are mountains all around me…..including Dictionary Hill…the steepest..scariest hill we have here…..huge hill

  yes ladies and gentlemen…that is here…not in San Francisco. I have yet to dare that hill. Majestic mountains are all around here…..springvalley1

sv2

stores

Yes we have stores out here…but they are not that great. water

 I believe this last pic is either Spring Valley Lake (I had no idea we had a lake out here) or the reservoir. SpringValleyReservoir 

reservoir two reservoir three

 

This is about six blocks from us…due east, at a diagonal slant. I’ve seen it and it’s beautiful. ❤ They have recreation there during the summer,including fishing. I have to come to really love living out here….it’s rural to a point….until you reach that hillside and the residences are packed side by side like sardines. But when you look out your window and see a mountain instead of the city…you can either love it or hate it. I definitely prefer being out here even though it’s pretty isolated. Mt. Helix from a distance

I see that mountain outside my window every single day…it’s a nice view actually. I see it closer than this image suggests as we live at the foot of it. Days go by slow here…which is just fine with me. It gives me time to breathe and relax. We hear the occasional siren going by…occasionally the neighbors stop by to visit…other times you wonder if you do have neighbors….but about 90% of the time, it’s quiet out here. Everyone minds their own business and goes about their lives quietly. I guess you could call us a “sleepy town” but we are just slower out here. People always say they want to live the slower life…but they remain in the city. Until you get away from the confines of the city limits, you cannot experience living a slow life….it is relaxing, and quiet. People actually know how to mind their own business out here….which is a nice relief let me tell you. You can go about your own life without someone putting their nose in where it doesn’t belong. Most of all,….you can heal. That is the best thing of all…being able to heal. I hope you have enjoyed a glimpse of where I call home….and I hope  you have a good start to August. ❤ 🙂

Early morning and Black coffee.

So I’m up early again. How early? Five am…..I know. It’s when most of the world is up anyways, right? Well not this lady. I hate early mornings….but my summer seems to be filled with unpredictable hours lately. Sometimes rising early because my body will not allow for anymore sleep, or being up late and sleeping in late, as a direct result. The job search has slowed, since it seems only Auto Zone is hiring around here. However, the interest in classes and class-hunting hasn’t dimmed quite yet. I am determined to take at least one course this summer. Here’s to hoping! 🙂 ❤

 

This summer has had its very own unique setbacks, but I’m not focusing on those. I am focusing on the good times…the laughter, the nights that made me smile when I wanted to punch the fence out of pure, built up frustration. My friends come to mind a lot…I worry about them, and care at the same time. i want the best for them…simple as that. I have a family (so to speak) that I need to think of as well and I have decided that I need to put them first and foremost in my decisions. Every decision I make somehow alters life for all of us and affects them in some way or another. It’s funny…when you have children you never think that anything personal in your own life, would affect them. But somehow, in life it works that way. I try my best to shield them, love them fiercely and never gave up on them, and vice versa. I want this summer to be one for the story books for them…one of adventure, life, love, laughter and many, many movies. (If you haven’t noticed, I love movies.)  I have decided to focus on the happier aspects of my life..the lighter energies of love, and positive vibes…in case you’re wondering where the darker posts went. Somehow, I don’t think you are. 🙂

 

The black coffee..yeah we ran out of creamers and sugar. Somehow, it isn’t the same but its holding up…it’s coffee right? Right? Yeah ok, I’m having a hard time being convinced as well. But it works and keeps the caffeine withdrawal headaches at bay and wakes me up. 🙂 I was thinking of making today a movie day…since it’s going to be so hot anyways. Besides, my kids deserve to curl up with a good movie. I hope your summers are going well…I actually had to don a sweatshirt in the middle of July this morning….crazy right? It was actually that cool to start off a hot day. The weather doesn’t know whether it wants to be hot or cold…but the nights are warm for sure. All in all, it makes for some good memories down the road…of a summer spent living instead of hiding, having fun and laughing instead of frowning and being unhappy. that’s what life is about folks..making memories the best way you possibly can. Appreciate the ones you love…even if they drive you crazy….because in some ways, it’s that same craziness that makes a house, a home. Try to appreciate the small things…..and do not judge. At all. Not yourself or each other. That’s the key to happiness…living and being happy and letting others live in a safe environment free from all forms of judgement.

Start living.

Life is about living…..and summer is for enjoying the season with  friends, family, etc. Celebrating life…maybe at a BBQ, cookout, bonfire on the beach, or just hanging out and watching movies. Either way….get out of the darkness, silence and start living life. If we were made to live a silent, dark existence…we’d still be in the cave-man days. We cannot live as if we live under a rock….what are we afraid of? Making noise? Who made the rule that we as humans have to be so silent? I’d love to know…then I can knock some sense into them. Life isn’t about being quiet…it’s about moving, laughing, being happy, smiling…enjoying it. So while your living under your rock, the world is still moving…still evolving, still …well…living for lack of a better euphemism.  Why stop living? Who defines the rules of life? Do we make them up as we go or are they carved in stone? By whom? Unless it’s God himself…I refuse to follow them. My life isn’t meant to be lived in the darkness nor silence. So I refuse to dwell there….there is no written rule that says I have to be silent. So…I won’t. =) Life is for LIVING….making memories, loving the ones your with and your friends with…..making a life for yourself, carving out your own path in the process and paving a journey and road for someone else in the process. Just make sure its’ one you would want your kid(s) to potentially follow in their future..(If you have children that is). Make sure that if you come out of that darkness and under that rock, that the rest of your time spent in the sunshine is worth looking back on in the cold, eerie dregs of winter. Because if not, then that’s going to a cold, long winter ahead of you. Do silly things, catch movies with friends, listen to music LOUD (it’s summer after all) attend bonfires, go to the beach as much as possible, get a tan, paint your nails odd colors (if your female) let the sun lighten your hair and darken your skin. Revel in the simple enjoyment of flip flops…and know that when summer turns to fall….if you have tan lines on your feet from sandals..it was a good summer and one worth remembering. ❤ 🙂 Until next time…live life! Lisa. 🙂

Overwhelmed……..

Completely at peace. 

Is more like being completely overwhelmed and more like finding peace in the chaos. Finding a smooth undercurrent in which to reside and hide from the drama and find peace. The place where I don’t have a million assignments to think about, a million readings and lectures to listen to. A place where problems don’t exist and they are not allowed to enter. For most of us, this place doesn’t exist and we take our problems with us wherever we go…

Summer 2014.

Although it seems I just moved here, it’s actually been long enough to experience summer again and for August to roll around again. This post will have a lighter feel to it folks. 🙂 Anyway’s I’ve already had two sunburns and working on the second tan..it’s in the peeling stages atm. I was out at a doctors visit recently and noticed that people are definitely in the summer spirit that is San Diego, Ca. But what of those wearing hoodies when it’s 90 outside? Seriously…that would make me so sick..why do people do that? You look hot and uncomfortable. Anyways moving on. I have recently moved in (by myself TYVM) a wooden three-drawer nightstand plus a white three shelve unit…and I vacuumed my room. Well moving these in has made all the difference in the world and I actually love the way my room looks now. 🙂 

 

 I have to admit that I have a LOT Of wooden furniture in my room…the dresser, the hutch and the other night stand, plus a side table and even the headboard is wrought iron and…yep you guessed it..wood. It’s hard to break up the monotony of all of that….but somehow I managed to incorporate some color finally into this once dark, gloomy, messy, cluttered….what-the-hell-happened…room. I will include pics so you can see what I am talking about. When I moved in initially, I was completely overwhelmed with what looked to be a nice room, underneath piles of junk. I had to dig in and so I did. It took me one full weekend and numerous attempts since then to de clutter, organize and make it “mine”. 

 

 It took me a few months to clear out the hutch and the dresser to use as my own but once I did I started realizing that this is now my space and I should really use it to my advantage..I.E…using my own stuff to decorate with. I am the type of person that has to have a clean, neat, organized brightly lit area around me…especially in my bedroom. Anything else drives me up the wall and leads to bad moods. Once I started digging out….and uncluttered the dresser, the closet, the hutch, underneath the bed, and the night stand ..vacuumed everything in sight….and opened the blinds plus the two windows that open (gotta work on that third one) and began to unclutter and clean my ensuite bathroom (as its called) …I began to really feel like I was home. 

 

 I went through so much darkness that I cannot live in a dark place..I simply cannot tolerate it. I usually open up the blinds and windows when I wake up to let the breeze in and the days light. Anyway’s moving forward…I am really starting to like and embrace summer this year.It’s not constantly filled with commitments to other people’s children, and tons of places to go. Plus no arguments..so it’s really nice. Plus I’m loving my new found relationship with Christ and God. (If your uncomfortable with me writing that…you may unfollow me.)  

 

 Plus I have a new pair of tiger print sandals that I absolutely love!! They are very comfortable and fit just right. 🙂 ❤  I have my own coffee pot in my room for my own use….on the outside it looks vintage but its actually modern. I am looking for a job again….this time i updated my profile and contact numbers so hopefully they will contact me since everything these days is digital! Plus at the same time looking for classes around me ….no luck with either of those things but when the time is right..it’ll happen. I have also put up boundaries and limits in my life, friendships and relationships. I keep my FB chat off now because I don’t want to be constantly monitored (as in…you know when I’m on, because you see me on your list..) I feel as though today’s world is always “on” twenty four seven…we can constantly connect to someone because today’s world doesn’t know when to disconnect. Two am? You left yourself signed on? Oh well lets send an instant message, text, and when you don’t answer, lets keep messaging..potentially waking you up. Yes I went off on a tangent there..sorry folks. But it has to be said.

 

 My point is that I love this summer…although it has it’s draw backs..it’s a lot safer than last year. For that I am grateful..and very happy. By the way yes I am aware it has been awhile since I’ve blogged….I have been busy job hunting, class hunting, doc appointment, and otherwise spending time with my mom and my friends. 🙂 I will try to keep blogging this summer. In the next post I will include the pics I mentioned. 🙂 Until next time..Lisa.

On Darkness…and being dismissed.

When your down in the deep hole that is darkness and you reach out for critical help….at a critical time..and your dismissed…then real damage starts to set in. Your friends, your lifeline, cannot help you because they refuse to take time out of their own more important lives and listen and realize how real things are. Maybe its too painful or too much of an effort, who knows. But either way being in this dark hole is something that is not easy nor is it conducive to a good life. I’ve been in this hole for months now and I am trying my best to re emerge whole and not “broken”. I have tried so many times to make people understand this is a real issue in my life….but they just cover it up, run or pretend it doesn’t exist. They were almost too late. 

 

 The one thing that kept me going …the only thing that refused to give up on me….that would answer my cries for help at the wee morning hours….was love…pure untainted Divine Love. The kind that is always near by willing to help, lend a hand UP, not a hand OUT, and is always willing to listen twenty four/seven. I am tired of being dismissed and not listened to…I have always helped others when needed but however, the favor is not returned. They somehow think its okay to be that down, to laugh it away or to change the subject as if its too deep for them to swim in. I am disgusted by being dismissed out of hand like I’m some pesky fly or child that needs to be hushed or that their issues are more important. Well now they will know how I feel..and if I lose them because of it..well then they were never meant to stay in the first place. If I had done it and succeeded then they would have realized I was serious. But thankfully no one has to plan nor attend my funeral. 

 

 Yes this is an angry post…at this moment I’m an angry person and rightfully so. I expected more and was deeply disappointed instead. So now I turn to myself…to fix my own issues This person who has done so much to help others in their times of need, who has fixed issues for everyone else…is now taking the time I need for myself. To heal, to be angry at the world and at certain persons for a long time, and to recover what’s left of my life before that too, falls by the wayside. I am rightfully angry…and no reasoning is going to fix what they messed up on. The true definition of friendship is being there and listening and being real…not just changing the subject to be about yourself. I’m sick of it..and it’s not going to be allowed anymore. Either be there or be gone.