If you guys have been following my blog you will have noticed that on my last blog post I finally eluded to what exactly I’ve been talking about these last few months on this blog. I have been fighting and trying to prevent demons from coming back through my room. This was a situation that I both walked into and had brought upon me as well, none of which was my own doing. it is entirely possible to summon demons on someone out of pure spite, hate and jealousy. I’m living proof that this is indeed a real thing. That’s the key word here folks…”living”. I am LIVING proof. It has taken me several months to remember- then believe that I am still of the living..despite the fact that several demons at that have tried changing that simple fact. It’s taken me a lot of time to recover from several times of re-entry after we have crossed them. This is exactly why Ouija boards are completely a bad thing…. they can be used to summon these fallen angels that mimic whatever you might be trying to summon…to gain trust to step foot inside and be invited. Once invited in, you are at their mercy…which I was until I took action and received help. I will not go into details of what exactly that help was…as it’s private. I kept this ordeal private for some time because I wasn’t exactly sure how my readers would take it…I may lose readers over this but that’s just a chance I am taking. This happens all the time to people the world over, however many people just keep silent like I was because when it comes down to it, like I’ve stated previously…there’s no support group for these type of survivors. But believe me when I say that there is tons of these haunting’s happening everyday/night. When they do occur they tend to oppress you, depress you and your not really quite the same person as you were going into it. This has changed me, changed my perception of life, of reality, of faith and of life as I knew it. When you look around on a sunny, bright day…you wonder if you really perceived that event clearly? Was it really a demon in the darkness? Or were you just imagining it? During the day it’s harder to believe that these beings even exist, much less that they can and will do and bring harm upon you .They make the atmosphere in your house very heavy, like living in a thick layer of humidity. They can make foul smells appear out of nowhere, such as decaying flesh/sulfur. They bang around, stomp around or simply stare at you from a corner. All of this and more is intended for you to lose your mind plus your grip on reality. They go dormant during the day so you are never really sure until someone with experience in the field can tell you its exactly what you are dealing with. They will try to wear you down by attacking you. But I am here to tell you that surviving this with both your body and sanity intact is entirely possible. You should always get help….and have people around you that believe in you and believe what you are experiencing in the middle of the night and eventually the day, is real. That you are not simply “crazy or imagining things”.
I have come a long way and still have a ways to go to recover completely from this. Given time and enough space I will be myself again, no longer worried about what’s lurking in the dark or what is waiting to attack me at night. I will no longer worry about hearing residual banging and growling, or smelling awful smells that have no other explanation. My life will be my own….until then I continue to fight in the middle of the night, with major help. I am not on this journey alone..although it certainly has felt like that at times. I am fighting…..for my life…and for justice. Mostly, for humans everywhere experiencing this type of haunting. Your not alone…..don’t fall for the “illusion” that the demons project upon you. Your not alone. That is a very comforting phrase..especially when your being harassed in the wee hours of the night and early morning. When your being attacked, hurt, or otherwise tormented by these beings that hate and despise humans. Never allow yourself to sink to the level of victim….your a survivor. =) Until next time..Lisa.
I’ve been here, there and around. Mostly thinking about how to deal with this situation at hand ..not making too many successful attempts at harnessing it though. But I realize that I’m under way too much stress and emotional baggage….so I’m trying to let it all go…at least for now and attempting at writing a decent post, that my readers will understand. I am hoping this makes some sort of logical sense because my feelings need to be turned into words so that they can be released and I can de stress, so to speak. I’m still dealing with exact same situation I was when I started this blog..only this time I have been more quiet about it. But what good does that do? None! So let me get out some of what I’ve been thinking about lately and lay it out so it can be dealt with. I am starting to realize that living out here in the rural area of San Diego, California really might not be so bad…after all it’s slower and exactly what I need in my life to heal myself. However, it’s also a double lexicon…living out here has its advantages as well as disadvantages. I was talking with a friend of mine the other night about city living vs rural vs country ….and being out here has it’s plus and minuses. I pay a high price for my presence here, although I was sent here for a reason. I have also decided that hearing crickets and frogs at night here is definitely beneficial…there really isn’t a better sound and it beats out hearing car alarms, traffic, and blaring horns all night. Plus, like I’ve already covered the slower pace of life out here is definitely suitable to my peace of mind.. Running around like a chicken with my head cut off for five years is enough for this woman…time to relax, slow down and heal as much as I can.
This journey I’m on is rough…..paved with rocks, and asphalt and sometimes curves come up unexpectedly with some broken glass thrown in for good measure. I trudge along with bare feet, taking the pain with me as i go…knowing that eventually, somewhere along the line…the road and path will again smooth out. Until that point, I am trying my best to handle things and I have found that the stress I’m under isn’t any good for my body or overall well being. I need to just let go and let things be worked out like they should be….not how I see fit. Life works out on its own in time….and they say time heals all wounds. Well I have found that old adage to be very true, it does indeed. Unfortunately some invisible scars can never be truly healed…or at the most they scab over and that’s the healing limit. They are the hardest to heal and they take the longest to finally scar over. Its going to take time for me to heal…but I am on that path now more than I was before. I have decided that this isn’t going to stress me anymore..it did that enough in the beginning and there really is a life outside of a horrific demonic haunting such as those I’ve endured. I would have typed
suffered through but really…endured is the correct choice. I haven’t ever been one to become a “victim” and I don’t plan on starting now. I am simply enduring and making the best of what I have available to me and the resources that I have to help me fight.
That is what I plan on doing..fighting. Fighting for my life..and fighting for my peace of mind. Everyone deserves to have that….and everyone on this planet deserves to be happy and calm and have good well being. Life is for living after all and that’s what I plan on doing. The darkness is essential…in everyone’s life..just don’t unpack and live there and don’t give up. When you give up..you reject the light and everything good that’s in it..and everything good the light is made up of…you reject happiness and you reject your soul’s right to feel happiness. You also live and embrace the darkness..and if you haven’t any reason to deserve the dark, the torment and the evil brought upon you….then why would you subject yourself to living as though you did? As though that’s what you deserve? Just a thought I wanted to throw out there to have my readers think about.
On a good note..I finished my Climate Change course and passed my final!! I passed the course with a C+ average overall and that’s pretty good considering I was dealing with course burn out. I was majorly bored with the course and decided that I just wanted the course to be over already. It definitely was time to move onto other things and time to start working on myself. I’ve definitely earned it and that’s where I have come to now in my life. I have peace and quiet and am dealing with the remaining demons as best as I possibly can. Until next time folks..Lisa.