It’s winter here in Southern California…..late winter….and only so far this season we’ve had a few weeks of really cold weather. I think Mother Nature got this wrong…this isn’t supposed to be a continuation of summer. Yet here it is in March and we’re in the 80’s. Yes..I’m complaining..because we roasted all summer…and now we are still warm. I keep wishing those East Coasters would send us some of their colder weather, but so far..it hasn’t shown up. Typically in March we are wearing hoodies and carrying umbrellas…now its more tank tops and sunscreen with the fan on or the A/C. Yes it’s HOT here….and it doesn’t look to be cooling down anytime soon. You could call this paradise….but I just call it HOT. Cold drink anyone?!
At night it cools down thankfully….that’s when i do the most thinking. Lately it seems I’ve been moody or snapping on anyone with one wrong word or comment towards me…including actions. This is because of a lil thing I like to call….stress. I am under a lot of it…from keeping up with my courses, to my daily life and interactions with humanity. Idk about you all but people are enough to stress me out…way out. I’ve had this brought to my attention lately…by a friend who shall remain nameless. I hadn’t realized before this, but I guess I have been moody lately. Usually I’m not this way…but with all the pressure I’m under….its like a cooker at a high temperature. Pretty soon..it’s gonna blow it’s lid. I hate to admit this to my readers for fear of being labeled a “hot head” but unfortunately I did lose my temper on a friend. I have since cleaned up the mess I created and have since been ding my best to take preventive steps to ease the load of stress i’m carrying.
I know they tell you when you need help, to ask for it. Well, I don’t. I have grown into such an independent person that asking for help from others just seems needless and pointless. I have become this way because of a job I held where I was pretty much on my own for five years to figure things out. Unfortunately, this trend has carried over. However, I am trying my best to ask friends for help when I realize I am in way over my head on something….or in a situation that requires my full attention and at the same time, team work. Even when I feel helpless..I have since learned the best way to get help..is by asking for it. Don’t expect others to know when you need help. You must ask.
Those are the things that I sit back and think about at night..among other personal things. Sometimes my situation makes me so frustrated that I end up crying…out of pure anger and frustration. I just want peace…..but lately that hasn’t been happening. I feel overwhelmed and tired….very tired. Until next time..Lisa.